The Finale

I made it. I took care of a human being for 9 whole weeks: From the 4th of July until Labor Day. Here I am 62 days and 49 posts after writing my first one and I feel many things. First, I feel a big sense of accomplishment. I must admit I was scared, I was heading into the unknown and completely out of my comfort zone. I also added an extra challenge which was writing this blog. I do think that, in the end, it really helped me to stay motivated and focused. Every time something bad or tough would happen I would think "at least this will make a good story for the blog" and that somehow put things in perspective.

Second, I feel grateful for having had this opportunity. I am grateful for having a job that provided this benefit that many people do not have. I am grateful to my friends, family and maybe some complete strangers that came in day after day curious about what happened next in this eventful summer. But, mostly I am grateful to my wife Alegna for her unconditional support and behind the scenes work that made things easier. To Lucas for making the summer interesting with his many occurrences and adorable naughtiness. And to the great Matias, the big smiley baby that was born to be the only person with the patience and good nature to forgive all of my many hiccups as a parent. Without his personality and good behavior I would not have been able to enjoy this summer as much as I have.

Finally, I feel a little uncertainty about what the future holds. Tomorrow, we will start a new routine. Matias is starting daycare, I am going back to work. So many questions come into my mind: Will I ever get to work on time? Can I actually afford daycare for two kids? How tired are we both going to be when we get home from work? But, here is one of the advantages that I think us immigrants have. We have been through so much uncertainty and sometimes so far out of our comfort zone that we kind of lose the fear of the new. I am certain that we are going to be fine. It is going to take some time to get used to it, but we'll be fine.

This has been by far the post I have struggled the most to write. I had promised it for Friday and I had not been late on any of the other posts. The excuse I kept giving myself was that I wasn't home. I was out of town, but I had written posts every day when I was in Florida. Is it something deeper? Is it fear that once I hit publish this part of my life will be over forever? As I said on my previous post, this has been the best summer of my life, but on the other hand, I can't wait to get back to work and gain some structure. I will be having predictable days again, days that will not depend or completely change because of a wailing sound. I'm sure I'm going to miss it a lot though.

So goodbye! This is really the final post. I have been asked to do weekly or monthly updates but I know that it is never going to happen. Part of the reason I was able to post daily was because it required discipline to sit down every day and write something. If I had done it weekly, I would have abandoned this blog a long time ago. I would have kept saying, yeah tomorrow I'll write my post, and that tomorrow would have never come.

Thank you again to all the readers. Seeing those site visit numbers go up every time I wrote a new post kept me going. You don't know how much it meant to me. And to future Lucas and Matias, I hope that someday when you are older you get to enjoy reading some or all of these posts. If you are reading this and you are anywhere near me, please go give me a hug and a kiss. That is all I will ever ask of you, the rest: all of your triumphs and failures belong to you. I will never dare to take credit for any of them. I love you.

The Soul Mate

When I had Lucas I was all by myself with a 3 week old baby. My mom came for 3 weeks, my in-laws for 2 weeks and Armando took some vacation time. Back then he did not have a paternity leave or a bonding leave.

I had a per-diem position so I took 8 months off from work to be with Lucas. I enjoyed every one of those months and cried (a lot) when it was time for me to go back to work and send him to daycare. With Matias, things are different. I now have a full-time position and could only be on leave for 3 months, however, he got to experience something Lucas did not: spend 2 months with Armando.

I feel that when you have kids your life goes by in fast forward mode. One day I was in the hospital giving birth, then I had to go back to work and leave Armando in charge and now I find myself preparing everything to send Matias to daycare and holding back my tears. 

Armando has done an excellent job these 2 last months. He kept his end of the deal: 2 months of no cooking, giving bottles, changing diapers, mid-night waking up to feed, loading and unloading the dishwasher. He has taken great care of Matias and even knows (and this makes me a bit jealous) how to put him to sleep without so much crying better than me.

Without a doubt Armando is an excellent dad to both Lucas and Matias. He was even brave enough to get on a plane with both of them! 

Now we are getting ready for a new routine, one in which both of us are going to be working and will have to organize our time to the last minute. However, we are not afraid of changes. We came to this country 7 years ago with our lives packed in 2 suitcases (like most Venezuelans) and have accomplished a great deal of things. 

Life with two kids is hard, but we are in this together. Right compañero?

The Movie

I have a little obsession. Since about 2002 I have been trying to watch at least one movie a day. In college this was very easy for me, you have so much time. At first I would keep a notebook with me where I would write down the movies I had seen and the movies I wanted to see. This eventually evolved into a database where I could play with the data. I can tell you how many movies I have seen of a certain director or year or genre or country.

Finding what movies to see has never been a problem. every time you see something you like it opens up about other 10 options that might interest you. My first real quest was to watch all of the IMDB top 250. I have at times seen all the 250 top movies, but it keeps changing and it is sometimes hard to keep up. At the moment I am standing at 243/250. I am missing 5 Indian movies and a couple of recent ones that can only be seen in theaters.

Eventually I also found a great website called icheckmovies. This is the IMDB Top 250 challenge on steroids. It has a very large variety of different lists and a very easy way to check them off once you have seen them. It has become sort of a quest to keep checking movies off these lists.

Having kids does not allow as much time to watch movies as before. So, part of my plan for this summer was to use the time to watch as many movies as possible. I did watch a lot, 52 to be exact. My DVR is still 70% full though. Most of the stuff on it are TCM movies. TCM is the best channel a film junkie like me can ever wish for.

But as the summer passed I realized that it was about something bigger than watching as many movies as I could. The movies were secondary to what i was really experiencing. A unique opportunity to be the most important person in someone's life. Matias completely depended on me for two whole months. For 8 weeks I was absolutely responsible for the life of another human being. And even though I spent most of this summer feeding him, cleaning, changing his diapers and mostly working to serve his every need, it has been the best summer of my life.

What did I watch?
Viaggio in Italia: Roberto Rosselini invented Neorealism with Roma Citta Aperta and then with this movie apparently inspired Truffaut and Godard to start the French New Wave. A single person responsible for two of the most well known film movements in history. Quite an achievement.

The Postponement

As I explained in a previous post, this year we applied to be citizens of the United States. For some unknown reason Alegna was approved for her oath ceremony a month before I was. I described my experiences as a spectator on that post, but today it was my turn to become a citizen.

The ceremony was mostly the same as the one I saw with Alegna. You could see that they have a script on how things should move. First they sit everyone on some predefined sections so when the time comes to hand you your certificate they know where to find you. This takes a long time. Today, there were 954 people getting their certificates. We got there at 10:30 AM and they were finally done with this process at 12 PM. The main difference between our ceremonies at this stage was the soundtrack. Someone put some effort in setting up the playlist for my ceremony. You could hear Don McLean's American Pie, Neil Diamond's Coming to America, Simon and Garfunkel's America many renditions of America the Beautiful and God Bless America and my personal favorite was the Animaniacs nations of the world song.

After that we heard some short speeches from the USCIS, Homeland Security and League of Women Voters representatives. Finally, the judge came in and we prepared for the oath. I cannot deny that saying the oath out loud is very different than just listening to it. I think the words are designed to evoke the seriousness of what you are doing. You are becoming a citizen of another country, this is a big deal. It was an emotional moment. Then we sat down and we heard a speech from the judge welcoming us as new citizens. I have to say that the only two times I have seen a judge in this country (both ceremonies), I have been very impressed by them. They have been charismatic and human, but you can also sense some sort of respectable aura that humbles you. This judge appropriately quoted one of my favorite thinkers, Alexis de Tocqueville about how the strength of the democratic institutions comes from the people from the bottom up. Unfortunately, I could not find the exact quote on Google to post it here.

Finally we did the pledge of allegiance, national anthem and all of a sudden I have a paper in my hands that says I am a citizen of the United States of America. The country of my children, the country that has given me plenty of opportunities to have a much better life than the one I would have been condemned to had I stayed in my own. Am I living the American dream? Every time I am mowing my lawn I somehow seem to think that I am.

I decided to register to vote so I filled the form and gave it to the nice women who were working there as volunteers. I also applied for my US passport. It was a little unnerving that they keep the original certificate. They said the would mail it in with my passport. Now I suddenly find myself without any kind of documentation that proves that I am a legal resident of this country. But then again, so does every American citizen.

The Bookstore

I used to read a lot. Like a book a week. I have two full bookshelves in my office of books I have read in my life. I have read from Harry Potter to Sigmund Freud, from Plato to Stephen King, basically anything that I could get my hands on that seemed interesting or that would expand my views on the world. There was a time, a simpler time, when the only thing that I would buy was books, not even clothes. Things have changed a lot.

A lot of people have asked me when reading these blog: "You have been using so much time on watching movies, why are you not reading more?". There are two parts to my answer:

First, every book in my house has been flagged. If you are not familiar with Seinfeld or have no access to the clip on that link, what that means is that most of my reading happened in the bathroom. When I had kids the privilege of reading in the bathroom completely disappeared. In fact, the privilege of closing the door and having some privacy disappeared. All I can do now is sneak into the bathroom for a 5 minute break while they are sleeping or busy doing something. Those days when I could sit and read an entire chapter are long gone.

The second reason is concentration. The books that currently interest me are dense in information and usually need a lot of my attention to understand. Sleep deprivation and the general stress of doing things immediately drains me of any energy and motivation to start reading something.  I still read, just a lot slower. I have been reading the same book for about 6 months now. I'm almost done with that one, but it is a terrible reading rate. Watching a movie is easier on my brain and also is something I can do while multitasking. I can watch a movie while feeding Matias. Reading and doing something else is impossible.

I think reading is the thing I miss the most of my old life. I hope that when Lucas and Matias grow a little more, I can take the habit again.

What did I watch?
Until the End of the World: I have mixed feelings about this movie. On one hand it was visually beautiful, the music was incredible and some of the themes are incredibly prophetic about today's society. The basic premise of images beating out words is very relevant today, it is even relevant to my current post. On the other hand it is 5 hours long. It didn't really need to be 5 hours long.

Ice Age: Collision Course: I saw this one with Lucas. The same statement I made yesterday about remakes could be made for sequels too.

The Nap

Matias's sleeping habits are changing. During these two months he would usually feed, play for about an hour and then sleep for about some 30 to 45 minutes. All of this in 3 hour cycles during the day, and then at night he would sleep the 5 to 6 hours. I liked this schedule, it is easy to keep and gives me frequent short breaks. This is changing to napping fewer times, but they are becoming longer, sometimes up to 2 hours. He is a very light sleeper, unlike Lucas who I could move anywhere once he was down and he would not wake up. If Matias falls asleep in his car seat or on the swing if you move him to somewhere more comfortable like his crib he will immediately wake up.  On his previous schedule it wasn't really a big deal because I would just let him sleep wherever he was at the moment. But now, I would feel guilty leaving him in a car seat for two hours, so now his naps require more planning.

Getting him to sleep when you want him to sleep is becoming a struggle. Specially at night. Before, we would put him down on his crib awake and he could fall asleep by himself. Maybe he would complain a little bit and you would have to pat him on his back a couple of times. Now he hates it, it is like the crib is made of sharps razors. As soon as we put him down he screams like we are torturing him. The past couple of days have been tough. We have tried many things but getting him to sleep on his crib has been impossible. He just wants to sleep on our arms and that is exhausting. When we feel him staring to get sleepy in our arms we will put him on the crib because we don't want him to get used to just arms, but then he just goes nuts. It took about an hour to get him to sleep yesterday, today it was a little better. The good thing is that once he goes to sleep at night he will last from about 6 hours, which gives us plenty of time to sleep.

On the Lucas front, he is starting to get into trouble for his language. Every once in a while you will hear him repeat a curse word that someone nearby (usually me and Alegna) has just said. In these cases we have decided not to acknowledge what he just said and remind ourselves that we shouldn't be saying those words in front of him. But lately he has been using some of them as if he has learned what they mean. He has offered a "coñazo" which means a big punch. He has also yelled "Coño" when something does not go his way. These are different situations and we have told him that those are words he should not be using. However, today was different. He cursed in English using the f-word ans the s-word when some toys fell from the table. We don't curse in English so he probably got this from somewhere else, probably some other kid. It was hard not to laugh at his perfect usage of his new additions to his vocabulary.

What did I watch?
Ghost in the Shell: I have mixed feelings about remakes. I always get upset saying why do they need to keep remaking all these movies, but then I go and watch it and realize that they keep making them because we keep watching them, even when they suck. That is the case for this latest remake. Just watch the original.

The Highlights

So the end is near. Next week is my last week of bonding with Matias. After that I will be returning to work and he will be starting daycare. What this means for my plans with this blog is that there are only 6 posts left after this one. One each week day next week by me and on Friday two posts: one by Alegna and one by me. For this post I wanted to do something different.

First, I wanted to thank you, the reader. If you are reading this post you are one of the few faithful that has lasted for almost two months. I know sometimes it wasn't as interesting, but every day I made the effort to post a little something because I kept seeing people coming back. If it wasn't for you I would have given up. Blogger provides stats for your blog. You can see how many people have been reading your posts and where these people come from. I was surprised that about 200 people started reading my first few posts. I didn't expect that to last, and it didn't but I'm pretty happy that I am at a stable 50 to 60 people reading my new posts every day. I feel fortunate to have 50 people that are interested in me and my family enough to spend a couple of minutes reading something that I wrote.

I have also been surprised about the worldwide reach of this blog. I was expecting most of my readers to come from either the US or Venezuela. I know people in many European and Latin American countries too. But when I look at the top ten countries all time reading my blog I was surprised to find Ireland and Japan for example. Here is the top ten if you are curious:

1. US
2. Venezuela
3. Canada
4. UK
5. Spain
6. Ireland
7. Costa Rica
8. Germany
9. Italy
10. Japan

Finally, I wanted to make this post a little interactive. If you are reading this go ahead and comment below what your favorite post was or just say hi or whatever comes to your mind. I will take the time to personally thank each one of you. My favorite posts to write were: The Serenity Now, The Vinciguerra Boys, The Seven, The Visa, The Revenge and The Airport. 

What did I watch?

Sisters: An early Brian De Palma film that was clearly made as a tribute to Hitchcock. It is a good thriller with some good acting. I really liked the split screen he uses for some scenes to show what is happening at the same time in two different places. The dream sequence was good too.

The Dinner Party

Yesterday, when we went to the doctor we determined that Matias should start eating solids. He has been giving three signs to indicate this. First, the past couple of nights he has been getting up at around 3 AM hungry. He used to last more than this sleeping. He could normally do about 6 hours straight from 11 to 5. Second, he is eating a lot, a baby his age eats about 32 oz a day, he is up to something between 36 and 40 oz. Finally, whenever I have been eating in front of him, he just stares at my food begging like a puppy.

We bought some cereal powder that you mix with the baby formula to make a liquid that has the consistency of an oatmeal bowl. We waited until dinner time and he was very hungry. He was crying when I sat him in his chair, but as soon as that spoon came close to his mouth he knew exactly what to do. He really enjoyed it and would get upset if Alegna took longer than she should giving him the next bite. We started small and just gave him 2 oz of cereal to see how he handles it today. After that he drank the rest of his bottle and went placidly to sleep.

The plan is to give him this cereal for the next few days and then we can start giving him more interesting foods like vegetables and fruits. We are supposed to start with vegetables first because if you give him fruits first, he will not enjoy the less delicious vegetables. I remember how exciting it was with Lucas whenever we were giving him something new. We would laugh at his faces. It's going to be fun. We can make videos of him trying a lemon. Lucas really wants him to try mangoes.

What did I watch?
The Parent Trap: The original, not the Lindsay Lohan one. It was enjoyable but I could not get past the most glaring plot hole. Imagine hating someone so much that you decide to divorce him and send him away to the other side of the country with one of your children and not even try to see them again in 14 years. There is no way there is the slightest chance of these people getting back together, I would even question a cordial relationship between them.

The Betrayal

Today it was Matias 4 month visit to the doctor. The pediatrician we go to is right across the street from Lucas's daycare, so my plan was to go straight after dropping him off. The problem was that the appointment was at 10:30 AM and, as I have mentioned before, Lucas likes to come into daycare early now so he will have time to play inside. I decided that I would pack up some formula and a bottle for Matias and just get to the doctor early and hang out for about an hour in the lobby, maybe catch some Pokemon in the process.

We have been practicing in the morning to when I will actually have to rush to leave early, so I can get to work on time. We are developing a routine where I try to delegate as many tasks as I can on Lucas so I can work in parallel getting Matias ready. What this means is that sometimes I have to take my eyes off Lucas for some seconds. This morning I gave Lucas his clothes and asked him to get ready and went to Matias's room to pick his clothes and get him back to Lucas's room to dress him. When I came back to his room, Lucas had decided that he wanted to wear perfume to school today and had opened a baby cologne that was on one his drawers and poured it completely on his bed. He looked at me and said "it's OK, I'll clean it up" and came back from the bathroom with one baby wipe. I took the sheets of his bed, put them in the washer and turned it on. I got both of them dressed and left for the daycare and doctor.

I dropped Lucas off, saw the time and used a little bit more of it by pumping some gas on my car. Then I went to the doctor with my expectation of a long wait. Matias was getting hungry so things were lining up as planed. I got there and tell the receptionist that I am very early for an appointment and she replied "Yes you are!". I tell her I don't mind waiting and prepare the bottle and start feeding Matias. Five minutes later a nurse called his name. Apparently the 9:30 AM appointment was late and the doctor was free.

Matias was examined and everything looked great, he had eaten half a bottle so he was pretty happy with his full stomach. But then, the time I was dreading came, vaccine time. The nurse asked me to hold his arms while he got his two shots. He was so happy and had no idea what was coming. As soon as he feels the pain he looked at me like asking "What just happened?" and with a big pout started to cry. Luckily, I had been saving half his bottle for this moment and put it on his mouth. He stops crying and starts eating but he steel gives me this look that said "You betrayed me!"

What did I watch?
They Were Expendable: I didn't know anything about PT boats in WWII. Pretty interesting stpry with some nice war sequences. This was supposed to be some sort of morale booster propaganda film but it was actually released shortly after Japan had surrendered. I have trouble believing any character played by John Wayne that is not a cowboy.

The Face Painter

Matias had a rough night, he kept tossing and turning and making noises that would wake us up and make us check on him. Finally at around 4 AM, after I had been trying to get him to sleep for about an hour, Alegna took him and placed him on the bed next to her. He was finally asleep. I got to sleep for about 3 hours until I could hear Lucas calling me from him bed. Dad I have to pee! I tell him sure go ahead and since it is more than 7 AM he gets to watch some videos.

Yesterday we got to the daycare really late and Lucas's classroom was already playing outside when we got there. For some reason Lucas did not like that and he was insisting that today his friends needed to be inside when he got there. So we rushed through our morning routine so he could get there early. In our rush I forgot his lunch box and only when I parked my car in the daycare did I realize it. So I left him in his classroom, no crying this time, and I promised him that I would be back with his lunchbox. I drove home and then went back with the lunch box. I found him building some Legos on a table and when he saw me he was very excited. He ran towards me and I think I got the best hug he has ever given me. He was happy to see me and thanked me for his lunchbox.

After this I went to the supermarket with Matias. I realized I was pushing it time wise with his next meal but there was no bread or cheese at home. Those are the only two items that must never run out. I quickly go through all the groceries we need and by the time we are paying I can already see Matias starting to get restless. I rush home and feed him. He falls asleep so I prepare my lunch and then anxiously await for the event of the day. The UEFA Champions League playoff game between Nice and my favorite team Napoli.

 It is a very important game because the winner qualifies to the Champions League and gets a paycheck of about $40 million. The game was great, Napoli played beautifully and won 2-0. Matias was paying attention to the whole game. He was sitting in his swing smiling and staring at the TV. I guess he really liked the colors. He laughed when I celebrated the goals. This is a great start to a season that for the first time in a while has Napoli as a serious contender for the league title. Not since the Maradona days in the late 1980s did Napoli look this good. I hope they spend those $40 million wisely and plug the missing ingredients that can get us to that next level. Forza Napoli! 

What did I watch?
My favorite team qualify to the Champions League!

The Airport

I survived. It was tough travelling with a 3 year old and a 4 month old alone on an airplane, but I made it. The day started early, I wanted to make sure I had everything prepared. My mother helped me figure out everything I would need. I had diapers, baby wipes, three bottles and enough water and formula to fill them up. I went to the airport with both my parents. They were sad to see their grandchildren go. Their house would be quiet again. I had checked in at home and already had our boarding passes but I still had to drop my bag and Lucas's car seat. The line was longer than I expected and it took a while to drop them.

We walked to security. It had a long line too. We said our goodbyes to my parents. My mom helped me strap the baby carrier to my chest and we set up Matias there. I held Lucas's hand and off we went. I was expecting the TSA agent to have pity on my helplessness and send me on some sort of priority line but she did not. I had to go through the long line. I looked at the clock and my plane will start boarding in 30 minutes. There's no way I'm going to make it in time with that line. Fortunately my mother was already talking to another agent and they came to pick me up and send me through the pre-check line. I empty my pockets and place my laptop on a bin but when I knelt to take off my shoes I bumped the bin into Matias's head. This was the first of three bumps he would receive that day.

It takes a really long time to go through security. I am carrying Matias so they have to make extra screenings on me. Also, they need to check the water on the baby bottles. I can hear the speakers announcing that my plane would start boarding. I say this to the agent, but it makes no difference on how patiently he is doing his job. Lucas understands what I just said and starts to freak out saying that the plane is going to leave us. We are finally done and I walk fast with Lucas on one arm. I calm him down telling him we are going to make it and we do.

We sit down on our seats. Lucas is excited and I'm already exhausted. As I calculated Matias starts to get hungry right before take-off. Perfect timing, he will be sucking and the pressure will not bug him on his ears. I start to make his bottle and kneel down to get the formula. Bump number 2 against the arm rest. He cries a little but calms down while he feeds. Lucas is restless and wants to start watching TV on the plane entertainment system. I explain that it will start working when we take off. We take off, but the system is not working. My whole trip depends on Lucas being entertained with cartoons and the system is not starting. They announce that they are having some issues with it and it will start in about 20 minutes. Lucas asked me every second of those 20 minutes when the TV would come on. It is finally on and Matias is asleep. I can finally relax for a few minutes.

Matias wakes up after a while and I can smell some bad news. I had no idea what I was going to do if I had to go change Matias's diaper and now it just happened. I turn around and tell Lucas that I have to go change Matias's diaper, I ask him if he wants to come with me or if he's ok watching TV by himself for a bit. He tells me he'll stay so I trust him. I get up and bump Matias's head against the ceiling, poor baby, it must be hard to have such a clumsy father. I rush to the bathroom, I'm afraid Lucas might change his mind and start asking for me while I'm at the restroom. I get in and it is tight. I quickly realize I forgot the change pad. So I improvise and cover the table with paper towels. I change his diaper as fast as I can and get back to my seat. Lucas was relaxed as if I had never left. I thought the worst was probably over.

The rest of the flight was ok except when Matias pooped again. I had to go through the whole process one more time but this time without bumping his head or forgetting the change pad. We land and stay on the plane until everyone is off. We are the last to leave the plane and Alegna is waiting for us. I'm so glad to see her. All my energy was drained, I think it was just the tension of being in constant alertness. I just wanted to pass out on a bed until the next day. But Alegna has a bachelorette party she needs to go to. I have to take care of them for a few more hours. At about 8 PM I came the closest I have been since I started this blog to give up. I called Alegna in despair but she could not hear her phone. I had to do this by myself. BY 9 PM when I got her call back I had finally put them both to sleep. She found me passed out on the couch a couple of hours later.

Today was Lucas first day at daycare in 2 weeks. I knew the drop off would be hard. But it was harder than I predicted. He started crying as soon as we walked in. We had come in late so his classroom was already playing outside. I took him to the playground and he was losing it. He was still crying when I left and was waiting for me hugging the fence crying with a very sad face. I talked to him through the fence to try to calm him down. When I said I was finally going to leave he just laid down on the floor in resignation. It broke my heart. The teacher told me that as soon as I left he started playing with the other kids. I hope tomorrow is better.

What did I watch?
Strange Brew: I finally have my DVR back and saw this 80s comedy that has not aged very well. By the end of the movie I did want to call everyone a Hoser, Eh!

The Alternate Side

This week was fun. I came home and did not have to worry about dinner or lunch. I didn’t have to pack anyone’s lunch bag for school. I crafted and left a mess without worrying Lucas might come to my desk to play with my beads or pliers.

I came home and had all the time in the world to binge watch Parenthood, Velvet and Big Little Lies. I even had time to try a new hobby! I came home and there were weeds everywhere so I thought perhaps gardening was my thing and I just didn’t know it… my dreams and hopes of being the next Martha Stewart of gardening faded away when the first worm crawled from the earth. YUCK!

All in all it was a good week. However, coming to an empty house was rough, not having anything to do was strange, having so much free time on my hands was weird.

The highlight of my week was Saturday at 2 pm when I went to the airport to greet Armando, Lucas and Matias. I made Lucas a goody bag with some fish crackers, Welch’s gummies, Pocky sticks, PJ Mask stickers and a Welcome balloon. I was so happy to finally have my boys at home.

The Beard

We have a barber on site where I work and there is where I usually get my haircuts and shaves. So I had not cut my hair or shaved since I started this blog. My mom used to be my barber when I lived in Venezuela, so for old times sake we decided to try it again. Also because I probably looked like Hagrid. We had been trying since I got here, but always something new came up and we would have to re plan. Finally today we were able to do it. Lucas wanted in on it too, so I let him shave part of my face with a hair clipper. It did not last long, as soon as some hairs fell on his hand he decided it wasn't as fun as it looked.

More importantly for this blog we had Matias go into the swimming pool for the first time. He can't wear sunscreen yet, so we waited until about 6 PM and got him an umbrella. We had a floatie that was in the shape of a frog and sat him there with the umbrella. He really enjoyed it, he kept moving his feet underwater and tried to bite on the floatie. He also motivated Lucas to get into the pool. Lucas kept trying to show him how he was supposed to move his feet to swim. We made some videos so mom would not miss it.

This is my last day in Florida. It has been really fun and relaxing. I got to see a lot of family that I do not see often. Lucas had a blast playing with everyone and being the center of attention. Matias was treated like royalty, people would get into fights to feed him, change his diaper or put him to sleep. Tomorrow I will get back to reality. Next week it will only be me and Matias again. I'll have to get used to our routine again and being in charge of everything. I also have to catch up with my DVR. I am a little nervous about the airplane trip tomorrow with both of them by myself. You will read about it Monday.

The Race

Today we went to the Gulfstream racetrack. We wanted Lucas to see the horses and do something different. After lunch, we got to the track and since we told him about horse racing he got obsessed with the number 10. He kept saying that the horse with number 10 was the best horse and he was going to win. We walked to some sort of "on deck circle" where the horses were being walked around and the jockey for the  number 10 horse said hello to Lucas and gave him a thumbs up. We followed them into the track and picked some random seats, Lucas sat on the one with the number 10 of course. I thought a little bit on whether I should take heed of all these signs and bet on number 10, the odds were not very good, but before I could make up my mind the race started.

It was a very good race, a three way competition that ended with the race favorite as the winner, number 8. Where was number 10? Dead last. As we say in Venezuela he came in behind the ambulance. I saved some money by not making the bet. Lucas was sad, he was really rooting for number 10 and its performance was very disappointing. I had to make up a story that it had twisted its ankle and that's why it could not run as fast. Lucas really wanted to see another race, but it was about 98 degrees and the next race would not start in about half an hour. We convinced him to go bowling instead.

Bowling was fun, we played on a mini lane with guardrails that made the game more enjoyable for a 3 year old. Honestly it was more enjoyable for a terrible bowler like me too. My score was incredible! I beat Lucas and celebrated. The Vinciguerra way is not to let your kids beat you at anything. We are very competitive. I did congratulate him for his effort and told him that if he kept practicing he could beat me one day. He took it as a challenge and was not bummed out. We then went to play some arcade games. There was a Mario Kart game that we really wanted to play. I left him seating on it while I was buying some tokens a couple of steps away. I heard a loud bump and turned around to see him on the floor crying. He fell down from the car seat and now had a big bump in his forehead. I went to get some ice and consoled him. When he calmed down we played the Mario Kart game and then I won a rubber duck for him in one of those claw games.

It was a fun day, a little bit accidental but I think Lucas had a blast. Matias was Matias and smiled throughout the whole day.

I would also like to recommend you all to follow my cousin in Youtube. She is working on some very funny videos. I personally recommend the life hacks and the venezuelan word quiz ones. You can click here to watch them all. They are in Spanish.

The Watch

When I'm on vacation I am not a schedule guy. I like to just glide through my free time and do what I want to do whenever I feel like doing something. When I'm home, I have my routine and keeping up with Matias feeding schedule and Lucas's bedtime is easy. While I'm here there is no routine. Matias , as I keep repeating on this blog, is an angel and never complains. Sometimes I will realize that it has been a long time since he last ate and feel terribly guilty. What calms me down is that the only times he usually makes himself heard is when he's hungry, so if he wasn't yelling, he probably was not that hungry.

I haven't been strict with Lucas's bedtime either. We're on vacation and I don't think he should have a strict bedtime. What I do try to do is start to calm him down when it starts getting dark so he has an easier time to go to bed. Today I caught myself proposing we go for a walk at a mall at 7 PM, his usual time to take a bath and to start winding down before his 8 PM bedtime. I realized what a bad idea it was and stopped myself, but the thing is that I had not seen the clock before I had proposed it. He was already dressed and waiting for an activity, luckily I managed to convince him just to go to the drug store to buy some formula for Matias. It still took me until about 10 PM to get him to eat, bathe and sleep.

When we first got to Florida the sleeping arrangement was Alegna, Lucas and me in a bed in the guest bedroom and Matias would sleep on a pack and play next to us. Lucas moves a lot when he sleeps and when we got tired of sleeping with his feet on our face we sent him to my parent's bed. It is a king size mattress and they all fit comfortably. When Alegna left I thought Lucas would want to come back to the guest bed with me but he rejected the proposal. Grandma and Grandpa's bed is too comfortable. My father wears a sleep apnea mask. When Lucas saw him for the first time with it on he laughed and called  him a Teletubby.

Another part of my routine that I haven't been doing as you may have noticed is watching movies. I haven't seen one in more than a week. That is a lot for me, but I honestly don't miss it at all. I am happy spending time with my family that I don't get to see as often.

The Muffin Tops

Sugar. Every time I heard someone apologize because his kid had too much sugar I would just shake my head and blame it on bad parenting. I've never felt an energy rush from eating sugar so why would it affect a kid that much? I saw it just as an excuse to somehow justify why their kid is screaming at the top of their lungs and running in circles like a caged animal. Alegna is the one that usually handles the discipline with eating sugar. I'm not very disciplined at eating so I feel like a hypocrite telling Lucas no you can't eat what I'm eating.

Today I was more relaxed than usual about what he ate. I let him have a muffin after his lunch because he had eaten all of his food. Then some friends bought him an ice cream and I couldn't say no to the invitation. But then a little later I felt like eating ice cream too so I bought one for me and, of course, we shared. This is when I started to believe about the existence of sugar rushes. Lucas became a different kid. It was like he was the Tasmanian Devil, loud and in fast motion. Getting him to nap was impossible. I sent him with my cousins to walk and run on the beach to see if he would burn some of it. He came back 30 minutes later, soaked in sweat but still a little hyper. I convinced him to take a bath and that seemed to calm him down. He was out a few minutes after his bath. It was exhausting.

I learned my lesson. I should have more discipline about what we both eat. Lucas is a good kid and usually very sociable but what I saw today scared me straight. This new policy might hopefully even help me lose some weight. Also, I might have been right from the start my kid running around like crazy was due to bad parenting, just not the kind of bad parenting I thought.

The Shower Head

Alegna is the one who is usually in charge of Matias's baths. I am a very clumsy person so I'm terrified of having to handle Matias with water and soap. Lucas is easy because I can just tell him what to do without having to hold him or handle him. I am perfectly capable of giving Lucas a bath or have him shower with me. The only way I can help with Matias is if I jump on the shower and hold him while Alegna washes him with soap and shampoo.

I usually hold Matias so the water will fall from the shower into his back or stomach. But every once in a while I like to put his head under the shower. His face looks really funny when I do this. He loves it and tries to drink the water. I mistimed the amount of time I had him under the shower once and he started coughing. Now I am a little bit more careful on how long I leave him there.

Here in Florida when Alegna left I wasn't sure how we were going to handle Matias's baths. But I quickly realized I had an army of grandmothers, aunts and cousins wanting to help with every baby activity. Giving him a bath is great opportunity to bond with him. It is also less work for me, so I am saving some energy to when I get back to Massachusetts.

Tonight I went with my cousins to an Escape Room for the first time. It was really fun and we actually managed to have the quickest time ever on the room we were supposed to escape from. We are number 1 in the hall of fame!

The Stranded

I got home to an empty house. Home is not the same without Armando and the kids. I tried to keep myself busy during the afternoon. I went to a friend’s baby sprinkle, then to the grocery store, I came home, took a shower and went to a friend’s house. We talked about everything and nothing…good old chit-chatting for the soul.

Today I video-chatted with my mom for 1hr, I broke my brother’s heart when I told him I didn’t like Dona Barbara, caught up over the phone with my friend that lives in France, went to the mall and got a mani and pedi. It was a different and fun kind of day.

I was brought up by my mom, grandmother and great-grandmother and one of the things I remember the most about my childhood were the summer trips my brother and I took with my grandma and my great-grandma. We would hop in a car and drive 8 hours to visit family in Maracaibo or Valera and it was so much fun to be with people we only saw once or twice a year and it was fun to be with our grandma and skip some of the rules my mom had like not drinking soda during the week.

We want our kids to have some of the experiences we had, allow them to spend time with their great-grandparents (how lucky are they to have 3!) and grand-parents, see our family that still lives in Venezuela, meet all their uncles and cousins, but above all to have  fun, enjoy their childhood and hopefully one day go to Venezuela and see the place where their parents grew up. I know Lucas and Matias will not remember this week, but our family will and they will probably hear the stories of this week when they grow up.  

Did I have fun yesterday and today? Yes, I did. However, I feel like the Rocket Man “I miss the earth so much. I miss my wife. It is lonely out in space”.

The Pool Guy

Getting Lucas to swim with us has been a struggle. The first day we bought some floaties that were apparently too small for him. He was very excited to jump in the pool and swim, but when I let him go to test the floaties he just sank. After that we bought a vest, but while my mom was putting it on him he slipped and fell face first into the water. From that point on he has refused going back into the pool or the beach. I have forced him a couple of times by holding him and promising that I will not let go of him, but he starts shaking in fear and then I just feel terrible. Today was Alegna's last day before returning home and leaving us in Florida for an extra week, so we tried to use this to convince him to go swim with us.

We took him to the beach and tried but he was still too scared. He stayed by the shore playing with sand with my mom while we swam and exaggerated how much fun we were having. We even bought him a spider man floating device and convinced him that he would be able to throw spiderwebs from it if he swam, but it did not work. My mom used a different technique and gradually approached him to the water. First it was by throwing rocks and sand into the water. Then she made him walk a little closer to see the fish swimming. Finally he reached Alegna's arms and we were able to convince him to splash with his feet and make some swimming movements. It didn't last long, soon he wanted to get back to the shore, but we were happy that the fear wasn't as bad this time. I hope that by the end of the week he will have lost it completely.

As I said previously Alegna will be returning home tomorrow. She is a bit sentimental and I can understand why. My recommendation is to use this week to do everything that she hasn't been able to do in the past 3 years. Use it as a vacation from us. She will be writing this weekend as a guest again to describe her feelings and her experiences in being left alone to do as she pleases. I will still be here in Florida for another week. The only worry I have is handling the two at the same time at the airport on the trip back.

The Cafe

I decided to project my childhood memories on Lucas again. This time it was the Rainforest Cafe's turn. This was one of the places I clearly remember from my trips to Florida to visit my grandparents. I remembered how the smoke that doubled as mist smelled. I remembered the Gorilla Sandwich I would always order. I remembered having to wait longer than the usual restaurants I would go to, patiently waiting for the microphone to announce it was our "expedition's" turn. I remembered the animatronic gorillas and the elephants going wild when the rains would start. But most of all, I remembered how happy this place made me.

I wanted Lucas to experience all of this, so I gathered my family and insisted that this was something that we had to do on this trip. We drove to the Sawgrass mall and walked straight to the restaurant. Things looked exactly the same as I remembered them. The crocodile and the snake at the entrance and all the tropical fish in the big tanks brought back many memories. I talk to the lady in the entrance and tell her we have a party of 10 with no reservation. She replies that it will probably be a 45 minute wait. We are all really hungry but I convince everyone to wait. We are here for the experience. The group disperses around the mall, but I stay around eagerly waiting for the lady to announce our party. About 45 minutes later they finally call us and we go in.

As soon as we are walking into the restaurant one of the thunder storms starts. Lucas gets terrified and climbs on top of his grandmother. He does not seem to be enjoying this as I hoped he would. We try to show him the elephants and the gorillas but he is not very interested. We sit down to eat, my favorite sandwich is not in the menu, makes sense, the last time I was here was probably 15 years ago, but I order a burger. The food is not great, but it isn't bad either. What you are really paying for is the experience, an experience to which Lucas was indifferent. At least he ate all his food.

I'm not disappointed, Lucas likes what he likes and I like what I like. Sometimes I'm guilty of trying to live the moments that made me happiest when I was a kid through him. I just hope I can let him be as happy as my parents did for me, that is all I really want.

The Marine Biologist

We went to the Miami Seaquarium today. I barely remember the last time I was there. I must have been 5 or 6. This was the first time Lucas would see some of these animals and I was excited to see how he would react to them. But Blackfish and The Cove permanently ruined these parks for me. It was bittersweet because I could remember the excitement that Lucas was probably experiencing watching the killer whales and the dolphins for the first time, doing exciting jumps and tricks, but in the back of my mind I had thoughts of how some of these animals probably got here.

We got there right about the time the sea lion show was starting, we rushed to the dome and found some seats. Lucas laughed and enjoyed the show. By the time the show was over Lucas and Matias got hungry so we decided to eat our sandwiches on some picnic tables. I realized the killer whale show was about to start so we sent Lucas with my mom to find some seats while Alegna and I picked everything up. When we got to the show we found them soaked. As soon as they walked into the stadium the killer whale jumped and splashed them. My mom said Lucas found it very funny, but from that moment he decided to keep his distance from the rest of the exhibits. He did say that his favorite part of the day was when the dolphins from another show did not get him wet.

The rest of the day was entertaining but the temperature was really warm and humid. We quickly walked through the shark, crocodile, manatee and penguin exhibits and decided to call it a success and leave. Matias behaved like an angel. I sometimes feel guilty that we take advantage of his personality. He never complains so we do things that we shouldn't probably do with a 4 month old. The rest of the day he was a little bit cranky, but we were extra patient with him. By the way, it is official, he does roll over. He kept doing it today and would smile after we cheered every time he did it. He was very proud of his first milestone.

The Barber

Matias had his first haircut today. I really don't like baby hair, specially when it starts to get all patchy, so I had been insisting for a while that we should just shave it off. When Lucas was 3 months old we did it for him. Today, the time finally came and Alegna buzzed off all of Matias hair. He looks really different but cute. His big eyes look way bigger now, but I think that is a good thing because they are his best attributes. He smiled through the whole haircut as you all probably predicted now that you have read my description of his character in my previous posts.

It also seems that Matias has started to roll over. Last night I found him facing down and a couple of minutes ago I found him this way again. It is very mysterious because he is in his swaddle, it probably takes a lot of effort to roll over all wrapped up like he is. It makes me laugh to imagine him going through the motions and effort to actually roll over like this. I can picture the sounds he probably makes while he does this.

On other news, Lucas hit Matias for the first time today. Lucas has a toy poke ball that he carries around in the house sometimes. Matias was crying because he was hungry, Alegna was preparing his bottle and I wasn't around either so Lucas just decided to throw the plastic poke ball right at Matias's head. Matias started crying really loud from the pain. All I heard was the plastic poke ball hitting something and then a loud wail. I came to find Lucas just staring at his brother with a concerned look. It was easy to figure out he had thrown the toy at his head. Alegna had a talk with him and asked him why had he done that, while I was feeding Matias his bottle. He said his reason was because Matias was crying. Alegna explained that he should have tried to calm him down with kisses and hugs instead of with a poke ball to the head. He came back looking really sad and asked Matias for forgiveness. Matias was feeding so he just smiled back at him.

Tonight we had the chance to go out just me and Alegna. We had dinner and a movie while my parents watched our kids. It was a nice night out.

What did I Watch?
Dunkirk: You can tell it's a Christopher Nolan film and not just because Tom Hardy was in it. I really liked it, we saw it in an IMAX theater so technically it was captivating. All World War II movies are eventually compared to the best of them all, but although this is not at the level of Saving Private Ryan, it is the movie that has come the closest to it.

The Trip (Part 2)

We are on vacation mode and it's been great. We had a great weekend at the beach and spending time with our family. We have gotten a lot of help with Lucas and Matias, so our hands are now a little more free to sleep a little later, have meals without having to rush, and enjoying some free time. We are back to the slow life, where you can actually take breaks.

Today we had a fun day. Just hanging around in my parent's home in the morning. It felt like a Sunday morning. Lucas has been wanting to see the Emoji Movie since he saw the trailer on TV. Last time he went to the movies it was with me and Alegna stayed home with Matias. I wanted Alegna to have that same experience and also that movie looked terrible, so they went to the see it together. While I was waiting for them I went Pokemon hunting with my cousins and raiding some gyms trying to catch a Legendary Pokemon. Lucas really liked the movie, Alegna not so much but I think she enjoyed the experience and the bonding.

Lucas had some popcorn, juice and chocolate while at the movies. He also had had a few glasses of chocolate milk in the morning. I guess it all came together in his bloodstream and by mid afternoon he was running all over the house tackling whoever was in front of him while screaming at the top of his lungs. We decided to take him to a water playground near my parents home so he would use up all that energy. He ran and played and by the time we came home he was ready to go to bed. It was a relief to finally get him to bed at a reasonable hour. The past couple of nights he's been going to bed pretty late. We had some time on our hands so we went to have dinner at a Venezuelan restaurant. We had some arepas, patacones, malta, chicha, papelon and a lot more. It was a Venezuelan food feast.

What did I watch?
The Space Between Us: These next couple of weeks I will not have access to my DVR so I will not have a wide selection of movies to choose from. Nothing special about this movie, if you get past the absurd premise and that it is probably targeted to teenage girls, it is a little entertaining movie to pass the time. Nothing more.

The Trip (Part 1)

We flew to Florida today. Lucas was very excited that he was going to visit his grandparents. He was up by 6 AM. My mission this week was to eat everything in the fridge that might go bad while we were out and I finished it yesterday so unfortunately we had nothing to eat for breakfast. Alegna and Lucas each ate a yogurt and I had some jello while we waited for a reasonable hour to go for some brunch.

We spent the morning preparing our bags and making sure we weren't forgetting anything. At around 10:30 we left and had some brunch on an IHOP. We had a feast of pancakes, eggs and bacon. I had some steak too, of course. Lucas would not stop asking questions, he was so excited that he was in hyper mode. I really hoped he wouldn't behave this way on the plane. Matias was his usual calm and happy self. We drove to the airport, checked all our luggage and went through security without a hitch in about 10 minutes. I love the Worcester airport.

After boarding the plane we found our seats. Lucas was going to travel on the window with me beside him. On the other side of the aisle was Alegna with Matias on her lap. Matias fell asleep almost immediately, while Lucas asked me about a thousand times "Are we flying yet?" and yelling "Blast off!" at the top of his lungs. I was worried that this was going to be a long flight. I looked through the JetBlue Magazine and saw that The Boss Baby would be playing on the TV. The movie saved our trip. Lucas was wearing his headphones watching the movie and laughing happily. Almost at the end of the movie he fell asleep and did not get up until we landed. Matias woke up and cried a little asking for food, but as soon as he ate he was back to normal.

We got to Ft. Lauderdale and my mom's house was full of family members. I got to see a lot of people that I had not seen in a while and I missed terribly. Of course, now Lucas and Matias get most of the attention but I was very happy to be here. It's 10 PM and Lucas is still refusing to sleep, but we're on vacation, we will worry about sleeping schedules when we get back. My only worry is that Alegna will be returning home a week before the kids and I. It's going to be tough to handle both of them on an airport by myself, but that will be material for an interesting future post.

What did I watch?
The Boss Baby: Perfect airplane movie, you don't really have to pay much attention. It had some funny moments that we could identify with. Lucas kept calling Matias Boss Baby.

The Maid

Every couple of weeks we have a person that comes and cleans our house. What this means is that the day before we have to preemptively clean so the house will not be as filthy and messy for her and we feel less embarrassed. I know it makes no sense, she's going to clean anyway. Lucas hates it. He knows that when we say "Tomorrow Jane (not her real name) is coming" it means that he needs to pick up all his toys. This morning there were still a few toys hanging around so we picked them up before going to daycare.

To get out of her way and not feel weird by just watching her clean our mess, I decided to go have lunch somewhere else. Also, Alegna forbids cooking the day she comes so the house will smell clean. After my last cooking debacle that made the house smell like steak all day I did not want to risk it. I've been meaning to visit this new burger joint that has opened recently but I had not been able to convince Alegna to come with me. Of course I couldn't, she does not eat meat. So I decided to go there for a burger and a shake.

Driving there my engine light came on. My car has been feeling weird lately and now I will have to take it to the shop to see what's wrong with it. That can wait for some other day, today it is all about my burger. I get there and with Matias in a stroller I come in and make my order: A double cheeseburger with cheddar, tomatoes, grilled onions and BBQ sauce and a vanilla shake. I find a table while I wait for my order and Matias is all smiles as always. He enchants a couple of ladies that approach us and start commenting about his beautiful his eyes.They are big and gray and everyone always comments on them. I finally get my order and it is very disappointing. The burger is as greasy as the one in the picture above. The shake was pretty good. I go home feeling fat and sad, but at least I have a cute kid.

What did I Watch?
Mothra: Interesting Japanese monster movie, I was expecting something really bad but it was actually watchable. The monster does not show up until an hour into the movie. I like that Mohra in this movie is actually the good guy just trying to save some kidnapped 1-foot princesses from its island. At the beginning it is just a caterpillar swimming and crawling causing destruction, but then it cocoons and it becomes a giant moth that causes hurricane winds with its wings.

The Little Kicks

This morning, while driving to daycare, we were listening to the radio as we usually do. Every once in a while a song will come up that catches Lucas's attention and we will talk about it. Sometimes it will become part of his repertoire of favorite songs and I will add it to his Spotify playlist I named Luquencio. This time it was really funny because he asked to turn up the volume on the "Kars 4 Kids" jingle. He thought it was interesting that at the end of the song the man and the kid were singing together. I told him: yes that is called harmonizing, do you want to hear the best harmony song ever? I played him The Sound of Silence. It did nothing to him. It's not the first time this has happened to me, I have failed with other songs as well.

It is very interesting how a song will just catch his ear the first time he listens to it. The first time it happened was with Bohemian Rhapsody, he loved that they would yell "Mamma Mia!" and would point at his mom. Other songs that caught his ear instantly were Yellow Submarine, Sugar Sugar and the Banana Boat Song. Another batch of songs are more meaningful to Alegna, like Beautiful Boy that he sings with her every day before bedtime and Cachito Mio that they will dance together singing the chorus out loud.

Matias obviously has not developed a musical taste yet. Right now all of our musical experience is based on another playlist I created with Rockabye Baby songs. It has baby sounding renditions of songs by bands like Sublime, Radiohead, Green Day, AC/DC and many more. We usually listen to it while we are playing or doing his strengthening exercises. He usually does this spastic kicks when music is playing that look like Elaine's dance moves. It sometimes makes me laugh and I will try to find a song that goes with his moves. Soon, I expect, he will also be developing his musical taste and I will create a playlist for him, I already have the name for it: Matute. Luquencio and Matute are two very geeky nicknames I have for my kids.

What did I watch?
Bound for Glory: A goody goody story about Woody Guthrie. They paint him like an idealistic saint that gives everything for the people. I don't really know much about him, but I would have preferred a more believable story with some imperfections. All humans have them. The most interesting thing about this movie is a very famous scene where the Steadicam was first used. He walks through a camp and a crowd with a camera following him in what was previously and impossible shot to make and that we now see on almost every movie.

The Fire

One of the things I have enjoyed the most during this summer is cooking. Most of the time I've only managed to cook some rice to act as a side of whatever leftover protein I had in my fridge. But every once in a while Matias will give me the chance to get creative. I've made some short ribs with a rub I invented (mostly paprika). I also made some chicken with a cashew butter based sauce. Yesterday, I made a delicious couscous with orange juice, cranberries and walnuts. Last time I went to the supermarket I bought a couple of filet-mignons and I decided that today I was going to make them.

I had just finished feeding Matias, so I set him up on his pack and play and started seasoning my filets with just some salt, pepper and olive oil. While I was doing this I turned the oven on at 400 degrees and put a cooking pan set on high on the stove. I placed the meat to sear it on the pan and the temperature was very high so suddenly there was a lot of smoke. I quickly turned the kitchen fan on and opened a couple of windows but it was too late, the smoke detectors started ringing. It got really loud with more trhan one activated by the smoke so I go check on Matias. His eyes are wide open but he sees me and smiles, he's ok. I finish searing the meat so it won't burn and place the filets in the oven so they will cook evenly. The alarms are still on so I'm waving some papers under the smoke detectors until finally they go quiet. I go back to Matias and he is relaxed, luckily he never freaked out with the noise.

After 10 minutes I take my steaks out of the oven and check them. A perfect medium rare. I serve it with some of yesterday's couscous and I have a delicious lunch. Those two minutes of loud stress were definitively worth it.

What did I watch?
The Country Girl: Nice little movie about an actor struggling with alcoholism. Interesting to see Bing Crosby on a serious role and Grace Kelly was really beautiful, even when she tried not to be.

F For Fake: Orson Welles's last movie is some sort of documentary about the life of two fakers, as he calls them, Elmyr de Hory and Clifford Irving. There is a nice twist in the end of the movie that plays a little with your mind and makes you question if any of the "facts" that were presented to you during the whole film where actually real or  conveniently fabricated by Welles to fit his story.

The Opposite

Yesterday was a bittersweet day. I had one of the best experiences I have ever had with Lucas by attending his first soccer game, but at the same time 14 or more of my fellow countrymen were dying protesting against a criminal regime. This is the guilt us Venezuelans living abroad have to live with every day. It doesn't matter how great things are going in your life, there is always that hollow feeling inside reminding you that you will never be truly happy until your country is free. I named this post the opposite because that is how my relationship to Venezuela feels sometimes, the better things get for me in my life, the worse they get in my country. Today is a difficult day, I been questioning if things are ever going to get better, can the bad guys really win? All I can really do from here is hope that things get better, and that just makes me feel powerless.

In Venezuela the bad guys have the guns, the money and the power but we must not let them take our hopes and dreams. So I will focus the rest of my post on the positive. Lucas's first ever soccer game at a stadium was a success. It was Roma Vs. Juventus at the Gilette Stadium at Foxborough. We had great seats and we were able to see great players up close like Buffon, Chiellini, De Rossi, Nainngolan and almost every star of each of the two teams. Unfortunately, the only Venezuelan playing for Juventus, Tomas Rincon, captain of our national team, did not play. We did get close enough for him to say hi as you can see in the above picture.

Lucas was great during the whole game. That is 90 minutes of soccer that he was able to watch without getting bored, a great demonstration of his attention span.  His uncle did get him a huge bowl of popcorn and some Gatorade that kept him entertained for a while. Juventus scored first and he was really disappointed. But when Roma scored he had the experience of celebrating a goal at a stadium, he was happy and wanted more. During half time after drinking all of his Gatorade bottle I knew I had to take him to the bathroom. He freaked out with the crowd and the sound of all the toilets and urinals flushing at the same time and he refused to pee on any of them. I had to think fast, I knew he really had to go, so I picked my water bottle and had him pee there on a corner of the restroom. I threw the bottle on the trash and the problem was solved. In the end when I asked him what he enjoyed the most of the whole game experience his answer was "Peeing in a bottle".

Today was a normal day, a lot of smiles and easy feedings from Matias. He gave me time to reflect on what's next for Venezuela and to try to keep it positive. It's hard not to be positive with his smiley face staring at you.

What did I watch?
Crossfire: I have always been a fan of stories that use the unreliable narrator technique to tell the same story from different points of view. This movie does it really well as well as tackling some pretty advanced discrimination topics for the era in which it was made. Perhaps it is not surprising that the producer and director where eventually blacklisted for their political beliefs.

The Revenge

Nothing much happened today, it was a good day, pretty uneventful, the highlight was that we went for some ice cream after picking Lucas up from daycare. But I had time to think about this blog and how maybe years from now Lucas and Matias, when they are older, can read how their life was like at an age that they probably won't remember at all. That is what motivated me to cheat a little and not write about something that happened today, but something that actually happened a couple of days before I started to write this blog. I wanted to write this so future Lucas and Matias can read it.

I'm going to write about the first and only time until now that Lucas was bullied and how proud his reaction made me. As every kid his age, he has been pushed, hit, bit, etc. by other kids at daycare and I have thought nothing of it. It's usually just kids being kids. But this time it was something different, it wasn't innocent kid-play. We were at a 4th of July BBQ at a friend's house, it was really crowded and we really did not know most of the people there. Lucas and Matias were the only children at the party until a couple older kids arrived. They must have been around 5, and for some reason one of them (The ringleader) took an instant dislike towards Lucas. Lucas, being the great and noble kid I know him to be, got excited that other kids he could play with were there and tried to engage with them.

At first when he tried to play with them, they started saying go away we do not want to play with you "poopy baby" and they would run away. Lucas would take this as an invitation to play and would run after them laughing. I saw Alegna getting concerned but I downplayed it saying it's just kid stuff, they don't want to play with a smaller child and Lucas does not know any better and is having fun anyway, let's let them be. But then they started to get violent, they hid and ambushed him by throwing some cornhole bean bags that hit him on the chest and made him fall down. Lucas started to cry and came to me asking me why had they done that to him. I was kind of pissed but I just calmly told him that they didn't want to play with him, maybe he should find something else to do.

So now Lucas is playing in the yard by himself and they approach him again. This time they are trying to punch him and kick him. The good thing is that Lucas did not cower, he was trying to defend himself as best as he could against these two bigger kids. He firmly stood his ground and yelled "No Thank You!" and "I Need Some Space!" like they have taught him at daycare. He was doing all the right things, being non-violent but standing his ground. I went to get him before the kids could react and hurt him. Then we started to talk and he asked me why were those kids so mean. I just told him that some kids were just like that and that sometimes it was just better not to play with them. But, then my anger got the best of me and I added, but next time that a kid that is bigger than you tries to hurt you, kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. This got him all excited, now he felt that he was a superhero that had to kick the villains in the nuts. Alegna gave me a face and I had to calm him down. You will only do this if they are bigger and they are coming to hurt you, don't go and fight them.

I tried to keep an eye on him for the rest of the party but I got distracted for a moment and it finally happened. I saw them from far away approaching him, Lucas did not run, he did some sort of Karate stance and actually tried to kick them, but they were stronger and between the two pushed him to the ground. Lucas was crying when I got to him. I was angry and proud but it all suddenly turned to embarrassment when he said in full volume "Dad, I tried to kick them in the nuts like you told me to, but I couldn't!" I said that's OK and took him away.  That was the end of the party for us, we better just leave and never see these kids again.

This experience calmed me down a lot. I think we are teaching him the right things like being confident and kind which are better weapons against bullying than kicks to the nuts. He got beat up this time. I think it is an experience we all need to have sometime to know that it is not the end of the world. You must know pain so you are not scared of it. I think he'll be ready next time.

What did I watch?
Chimes at Midnight: All Shakespeare movies are kind of the same, they usually stick very closely to the material and the language and you can't really fail with that recipe, but then why are you even trying to redo the exact same thing again and again? I do feel that I should praise the battle scenes in this movie, they were raw and violent at a time when movies shied away from that kind of violence, but the violence is not glorified like in current movies, it is shown as absurd and unnecessary.

The Leopard Man: This was the third movie of the Tourneur-Guest partnership that kind of invented the low budget horror movie genre. It is almost a rehash of the much better Cat People.