The Finale

I made it. I took care of a human being for 9 whole weeks: From the 4th of July until Labor Day. Here I am 62 days and 49 posts after writing my first one and I feel many things. First, I feel a big sense of accomplishment. I must admit I was scared, I was heading into the unknown and completely out of my comfort zone. I also added an extra challenge which was writing this blog. I do think that, in the end, it really helped me to stay motivated and focused. Every time something bad or tough would happen I would think "at least this will make a good story for the blog" and that somehow put things in perspective.

Second, I feel grateful for having had this opportunity. I am grateful for having a job that provided this benefit that many people do not have. I am grateful to my friends, family and maybe some complete strangers that came in day after day curious about what happened next in this eventful summer. But, mostly I am grateful to my wife Alegna for her unconditional support and behind the scenes work that made things easier. To Lucas for making the summer interesting with his many occurrences and adorable naughtiness. And to the great Matias, the big smiley baby that was born to be the only person with the patience and good nature to forgive all of my many hiccups as a parent. Without his personality and good behavior I would not have been able to enjoy this summer as much as I have.

Finally, I feel a little uncertainty about what the future holds. Tomorrow, we will start a new routine. Matias is starting daycare, I am going back to work. So many questions come into my mind: Will I ever get to work on time? Can I actually afford daycare for two kids? How tired are we both going to be when we get home from work? But, here is one of the advantages that I think us immigrants have. We have been through so much uncertainty and sometimes so far out of our comfort zone that we kind of lose the fear of the new. I am certain that we are going to be fine. It is going to take some time to get used to it, but we'll be fine.

This has been by far the post I have struggled the most to write. I had promised it for Friday and I had not been late on any of the other posts. The excuse I kept giving myself was that I wasn't home. I was out of town, but I had written posts every day when I was in Florida. Is it something deeper? Is it fear that once I hit publish this part of my life will be over forever? As I said on my previous post, this has been the best summer of my life, but on the other hand, I can't wait to get back to work and gain some structure. I will be having predictable days again, days that will not depend or completely change because of a wailing sound. I'm sure I'm going to miss it a lot though.

So goodbye! This is really the final post. I have been asked to do weekly or monthly updates but I know that it is never going to happen. Part of the reason I was able to post daily was because it required discipline to sit down every day and write something. If I had done it weekly, I would have abandoned this blog a long time ago. I would have kept saying, yeah tomorrow I'll write my post, and that tomorrow would have never come.

Thank you again to all the readers. Seeing those site visit numbers go up every time I wrote a new post kept me going. You don't know how much it meant to me. And to future Lucas and Matias, I hope that someday when you are older you get to enjoy reading some or all of these posts. If you are reading this and you are anywhere near me, please go give me a hug and a kiss. That is all I will ever ask of you, the rest: all of your triumphs and failures belong to you. I will never dare to take credit for any of them. I love you.

The Dinner Party

Yesterday, when we went to the doctor we determined that Matias should start eating solids. He has been giving three signs to indicate this. First, the past couple of nights he has been getting up at around 3 AM hungry. He used to last more than this sleeping. He could normally do about 6 hours straight from 11 to 5. Second, he is eating a lot, a baby his age eats about 32 oz a day, he is up to something between 36 and 40 oz. Finally, whenever I have been eating in front of him, he just stares at my food begging like a puppy.

We bought some cereal powder that you mix with the baby formula to make a liquid that has the consistency of an oatmeal bowl. We waited until dinner time and he was very hungry. He was crying when I sat him in his chair, but as soon as that spoon came close to his mouth he knew exactly what to do. He really enjoyed it and would get upset if Alegna took longer than she should giving him the next bite. We started small and just gave him 2 oz of cereal to see how he handles it today. After that he drank the rest of his bottle and went placidly to sleep.

The plan is to give him this cereal for the next few days and then we can start giving him more interesting foods like vegetables and fruits. We are supposed to start with vegetables first because if you give him fruits first, he will not enjoy the less delicious vegetables. I remember how exciting it was with Lucas whenever we were giving him something new. We would laugh at his faces. It's going to be fun. We can make videos of him trying a lemon. Lucas really wants him to try mangoes.

What did I watch?
The Parent Trap: The original, not the Lindsay Lohan one. It was enjoyable but I could not get past the most glaring plot hole. Imagine hating someone so much that you decide to divorce him and send him away to the other side of the country with one of your children and not even try to see them again in 14 years. There is no way there is the slightest chance of these people getting back together, I would even question a cordial relationship between them.

The Betrayal

Today it was Matias 4 month visit to the doctor. The pediatrician we go to is right across the street from Lucas's daycare, so my plan was to go straight after dropping him off. The problem was that the appointment was at 10:30 AM and, as I have mentioned before, Lucas likes to come into daycare early now so he will have time to play inside. I decided that I would pack up some formula and a bottle for Matias and just get to the doctor early and hang out for about an hour in the lobby, maybe catch some Pokemon in the process.

We have been practicing in the morning to when I will actually have to rush to leave early, so I can get to work on time. We are developing a routine where I try to delegate as many tasks as I can on Lucas so I can work in parallel getting Matias ready. What this means is that sometimes I have to take my eyes off Lucas for some seconds. This morning I gave Lucas his clothes and asked him to get ready and went to Matias's room to pick his clothes and get him back to Lucas's room to dress him. When I came back to his room, Lucas had decided that he wanted to wear perfume to school today and had opened a baby cologne that was on one his drawers and poured it completely on his bed. He looked at me and said "it's OK, I'll clean it up" and came back from the bathroom with one baby wipe. I took the sheets of his bed, put them in the washer and turned it on. I got both of them dressed and left for the daycare and doctor.

I dropped Lucas off, saw the time and used a little bit more of it by pumping some gas on my car. Then I went to the doctor with my expectation of a long wait. Matias was getting hungry so things were lining up as planed. I got there and tell the receptionist that I am very early for an appointment and she replied "Yes you are!". I tell her I don't mind waiting and prepare the bottle and start feeding Matias. Five minutes later a nurse called his name. Apparently the 9:30 AM appointment was late and the doctor was free.

Matias was examined and everything looked great, he had eaten half a bottle so he was pretty happy with his full stomach. But then, the time I was dreading came, vaccine time. The nurse asked me to hold his arms while he got his two shots. He was so happy and had no idea what was coming. As soon as he feels the pain he looked at me like asking "What just happened?" and with a big pout started to cry. Luckily, I had been saving half his bottle for this moment and put it on his mouth. He stops crying and starts eating but he steel gives me this look that said "You betrayed me!"

What did I watch?
They Were Expendable: I didn't know anything about PT boats in WWII. Pretty interesting stpry with some nice war sequences. This was supposed to be some sort of morale booster propaganda film but it was actually released shortly after Japan had surrendered. I have trouble believing any character played by John Wayne that is not a cowboy.

The Face Painter

Matias had a rough night, he kept tossing and turning and making noises that would wake us up and make us check on him. Finally at around 4 AM, after I had been trying to get him to sleep for about an hour, Alegna took him and placed him on the bed next to her. He was finally asleep. I got to sleep for about 3 hours until I could hear Lucas calling me from him bed. Dad I have to pee! I tell him sure go ahead and since it is more than 7 AM he gets to watch some videos.

Yesterday we got to the daycare really late and Lucas's classroom was already playing outside when we got there. For some reason Lucas did not like that and he was insisting that today his friends needed to be inside when he got there. So we rushed through our morning routine so he could get there early. In our rush I forgot his lunch box and only when I parked my car in the daycare did I realize it. So I left him in his classroom, no crying this time, and I promised him that I would be back with his lunchbox. I drove home and then went back with the lunch box. I found him building some Legos on a table and when he saw me he was very excited. He ran towards me and I think I got the best hug he has ever given me. He was happy to see me and thanked me for his lunchbox.

After this I went to the supermarket with Matias. I realized I was pushing it time wise with his next meal but there was no bread or cheese at home. Those are the only two items that must never run out. I quickly go through all the groceries we need and by the time we are paying I can already see Matias starting to get restless. I rush home and feed him. He falls asleep so I prepare my lunch and then anxiously await for the event of the day. The UEFA Champions League playoff game between Nice and my favorite team Napoli.

 It is a very important game because the winner qualifies to the Champions League and gets a paycheck of about $40 million. The game was great, Napoli played beautifully and won 2-0. Matias was paying attention to the whole game. He was sitting in his swing smiling and staring at the TV. I guess he really liked the colors. He laughed when I celebrated the goals. This is a great start to a season that for the first time in a while has Napoli as a serious contender for the league title. Not since the Maradona days in the late 1980s did Napoli look this good. I hope they spend those $40 million wisely and plug the missing ingredients that can get us to that next level. Forza Napoli! 

What did I watch?
My favorite team qualify to the Champions League!

The Muffin Tops

Sugar. Every time I heard someone apologize because his kid had too much sugar I would just shake my head and blame it on bad parenting. I've never felt an energy rush from eating sugar so why would it affect a kid that much? I saw it just as an excuse to somehow justify why their kid is screaming at the top of their lungs and running in circles like a caged animal. Alegna is the one that usually handles the discipline with eating sugar. I'm not very disciplined at eating so I feel like a hypocrite telling Lucas no you can't eat what I'm eating.

Today I was more relaxed than usual about what he ate. I let him have a muffin after his lunch because he had eaten all of his food. Then some friends bought him an ice cream and I couldn't say no to the invitation. But then a little later I felt like eating ice cream too so I bought one for me and, of course, we shared. This is when I started to believe about the existence of sugar rushes. Lucas became a different kid. It was like he was the Tasmanian Devil, loud and in fast motion. Getting him to nap was impossible. I sent him with my cousins to walk and run on the beach to see if he would burn some of it. He came back 30 minutes later, soaked in sweat but still a little hyper. I convinced him to take a bath and that seemed to calm him down. He was out a few minutes after his bath. It was exhausting.

I learned my lesson. I should have more discipline about what we both eat. Lucas is a good kid and usually very sociable but what I saw today scared me straight. This new policy might hopefully even help me lose some weight. Also, I might have been right from the start my kid running around like crazy was due to bad parenting, just not the kind of bad parenting I thought.

The Revenge

Nothing much happened today, it was a good day, pretty uneventful, the highlight was that we went for some ice cream after picking Lucas up from daycare. But I had time to think about this blog and how maybe years from now Lucas and Matias, when they are older, can read how their life was like at an age that they probably won't remember at all. That is what motivated me to cheat a little and not write about something that happened today, but something that actually happened a couple of days before I started to write this blog. I wanted to write this so future Lucas and Matias can read it.

I'm going to write about the first and only time until now that Lucas was bullied and how proud his reaction made me. As every kid his age, he has been pushed, hit, bit, etc. by other kids at daycare and I have thought nothing of it. It's usually just kids being kids. But this time it was something different, it wasn't innocent kid-play. We were at a 4th of July BBQ at a friend's house, it was really crowded and we really did not know most of the people there. Lucas and Matias were the only children at the party until a couple older kids arrived. They must have been around 5, and for some reason one of them (The ringleader) took an instant dislike towards Lucas. Lucas, being the great and noble kid I know him to be, got excited that other kids he could play with were there and tried to engage with them.

At first when he tried to play with them, they started saying go away we do not want to play with you "poopy baby" and they would run away. Lucas would take this as an invitation to play and would run after them laughing. I saw Alegna getting concerned but I downplayed it saying it's just kid stuff, they don't want to play with a smaller child and Lucas does not know any better and is having fun anyway, let's let them be. But then they started to get violent, they hid and ambushed him by throwing some cornhole bean bags that hit him on the chest and made him fall down. Lucas started to cry and came to me asking me why had they done that to him. I was kind of pissed but I just calmly told him that they didn't want to play with him, maybe he should find something else to do.

So now Lucas is playing in the yard by himself and they approach him again. This time they are trying to punch him and kick him. The good thing is that Lucas did not cower, he was trying to defend himself as best as he could against these two bigger kids. He firmly stood his ground and yelled "No Thank You!" and "I Need Some Space!" like they have taught him at daycare. He was doing all the right things, being non-violent but standing his ground. I went to get him before the kids could react and hurt him. Then we started to talk and he asked me why were those kids so mean. I just told him that some kids were just like that and that sometimes it was just better not to play with them. But, then my anger got the best of me and I added, but next time that a kid that is bigger than you tries to hurt you, kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. This got him all excited, now he felt that he was a superhero that had to kick the villains in the nuts. Alegna gave me a face and I had to calm him down. You will only do this if they are bigger and they are coming to hurt you, don't go and fight them.

I tried to keep an eye on him for the rest of the party but I got distracted for a moment and it finally happened. I saw them from far away approaching him, Lucas did not run, he did some sort of Karate stance and actually tried to kick them, but they were stronger and between the two pushed him to the ground. Lucas was crying when I got to him. I was angry and proud but it all suddenly turned to embarrassment when he said in full volume "Dad, I tried to kick them in the nuts like you told me to, but I couldn't!" I said that's OK and took him away.  That was the end of the party for us, we better just leave and never see these kids again.

This experience calmed me down a lot. I think we are teaching him the right things like being confident and kind which are better weapons against bullying than kicks to the nuts. He got beat up this time. I think it is an experience we all need to have sometime to know that it is not the end of the world. You must know pain so you are not scared of it. I think he'll be ready next time.

What did I watch?
Chimes at Midnight: All Shakespeare movies are kind of the same, they usually stick very closely to the material and the language and you can't really fail with that recipe, but then why are you even trying to redo the exact same thing again and again? I do feel that I should praise the battle scenes in this movie, they were raw and violent at a time when movies shied away from that kind of violence, but the violence is not glorified like in current movies, it is shown as absurd and unnecessary.

The Leopard Man: This was the third movie of the Tourneur-Guest partnership that kind of invented the low budget horror movie genre. It is almost a rehash of the much better Cat People.

The Wait Out

Matias behaves all day like an angel. He will get hungry when it is expected and maybe cry a little but I am usually prepared with a bottle and as soon as he starts eating he will calm down. If he is sleepy he will usually just go to sleep. .He does not suffer from colic and burping him is a walk on the park. Except at 7 PM in the evening. Alegna calls it "Aleli" time, I have seen it mentioned online as "The Witching Hour" but I like to call it the "Wait Out". He has been waiting patiently all day to spend some time with mommy and now he is demanding her attention.

It is very surprising that it comes like clockwork, every day around 7 PM. It does not matter if he just woke up, if he just ate or anything that has happened the rest of the day. This is the only time when he seems to be inconsolable but I think I am getting to the bottom of it. I have noticed that the cry is very similar to his cry when he is hungry. At first, I was incredulous because at 7 he has usually just eaten so he shouldn't be hungry. But by reading online I have found out that there are some babies that cluster feed in the evenings so they can sleep through the night. Thinking about it, it fits his pattern of behavior. He has been getting better and better in sleeping longer hours at night. So the past couple of nights we have tried just feeding him a bottle when he gets this way and it seems to be working. Hopefully this will lead to even better nights, who knows if soon I will be sleeping the whole night for a change?

What did I see?
Take Me Out to the Ball Game: Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra and Esther Williams in a Busby Berkeley musical about baseball. I am a big baseball fan and I had really enjoyed On the Town with Sinatra and Kelly. But this one was kind of disappointing, nothing really memorable about it.

A Touch of Zen: The winner of this week's poll and it was a gem. Although it was 3 and a half hours it did not feel that long. You can see how this movie influenced the newer artistic martial arts movies like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero. The monk character is really cool, he is so bad-ass that he bleeds gold. It has one of the best endings I have seen on any movie. Beautiful movie!

The Seven

Sometimes raising a baby unconsciously becomes a race to the next milestone. Does he hold his head up? Does he follow your face? Then comes turning over, sitting down, crawling, walking, talking, etc. These are all important milestones in their development and of course you want to help them achieve them. I try to do some tummy time every day with Matias so he can gain some muscle strength for his next milestones. But I have another set of milestones that I find more interesting and amusing that I observed on Lucas and I am curious to see how Matias develops them. I will call them the Seven Vinciguerra Milestones.

1. Holding their own bottle: My least favorite part of taking care of  a baby is feeding it. You are pretty much trapped and you can't do anything else except just sit there. When you can finally free your hands while he is feeding feels like a great advancement.
2. Understanding the concept of blowing their nose: There is nothing worse than hearing your baby breathe through some nasal congestion. I have become an expert in using the suction nasal aspirators but it is a relief when you can just put a tissue on his nose and say blow and he knows what the hell you are talking about.
3. Understanding the concept of pointing: The moment when a toddler finally understands that when you point at something he should be looking in the direction of your finger instead of at your finger feels like a great advancement in abstract thinking.
4. First fart joke: This might be a boys only milestone, but I can't deny I was very proud the first time Lucas imitated a fart sound and had that grin that said to me "See what I did there?". I find the whole process of developing of a sense of humor very interesting.
5. Jumping with both feet at the same time: Apparently this is one of the most complex motor skills a human can do. Try asking your toddler to jump at different ages and you will see how hard it is for them.
6. Kicking a ball: I love soccer so it's obvious why this is important for me.
7. Sitting through an entire movie in the theater: As you can probably tell from the blog movies are important for me and being able to share that with my kids is important for me. I tried having Lucas watch a Star Wars movie for the first time in a theater but it didn't work, he was too young and Rogue One was darker than your average Star Wars movie. Disappointingly, his actual first movie was Despicable Me 3. I hope I have better luck with Matias on this one.

For the other parents that read the blog feel free to comment on what other non-traditional milestones you enjoyed watching on your kids.

What did I watch?

The Misfits: It was good, not very special or memorable. Clark Gable's performance is pretty good but the movie felt too long.

Please remember to vote before noon tomorrow on the Friday poll.

The Truth

Having a three year old means that you have to be answering questions all the time. Lucas is a very curious kid, as as most kids his age he'll start asking question after question. I find this interesting because I can see how he is starting to grasp most of the concepts that we take for granted as adults but it is also exhausting. This morning he was sort of in turbo mode. Since we got in the car at home until we parked a the daycare he asked questions non-stop from "What Pokemon is bigger Charmeleon or Charizard?" to "Why is my hand shaped like a rectangle?" I have also made it more difficult to myself because of two choices I made.

The first one is that I want to answer every one of his questions as accurately as possible. We have taught Lucas to not accept an easy answer. If he asks you a question and your answer is "Just because" his immediate reply is "That is not a valid answer". I'm sometimes half paying attention at what he is asking and a "just because" will slip and he will always catch me. This is how I have sometimes found myself talking about the states of matter, atoms and the properties of light to explain why the sky is blue or talking about the nervous system to explain why his finger hurts. It is very rewarding when I'm in the middle of one of these explanations and he will ask a follow up question related to what I am actually saying. I know that he is not grasping absolutely everything I say but sometimes he will surprise me. His teacher the other day congratulated me because he knew what gravity was. What amazes me is that I explained gravity to him in Spanish, how he translated it and explained it to his teacher in English just baffles me.

The second difficulty is that I am not a very religious person so I lose the what I think would be a very useful cop out "Because God made it that way!". But I have also learned that he understands that sometimes I don't know all the answers, so he will sometimes accept an "I don't know". When this happens I make it a point to actually make my research so I can find an explanation for him. So his questions actually help me learn about stuff too.

Friday Movie
It is that time of the week again and here are the choices for the poll. Please vote on the top right corner under Jerry Seinfeld's head:

• A Touch of Zen: This has been called the best Kung-Fu movie ever, not just because of the visuals but also because of the artistic quality and story.
• The Paradine Case: I have seen every Alfred Hitchcock movie from 1938 until 1976 except for this one.
• Chimes at Midnight: Falstaff is a Shakespeare character in three different plays. In this movie Orson Welles creates a sort of biopic of the character across those three plays.
• Shall We Dance: A Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie. It would be the fourth most popular pairing of the two after the three I have already seen: Top Hat, Swing Time and Gay Divorcee
• The Revenge of Frankenstein: The second installment of the Hammer Frankenstein series starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.

What did I See?

Birdman of Alcatraz: You can see how some more recent prison movies like Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile were inspired by this movie's tone. From what I read of the real Robert Stroud the movie was very kind to him by omitting most of his worst traits.

The Serenity Now

So it finally happened, I had a tough day. I know everyone has been expecting it. I kept getting questions of "This can't be that easy?". But it is still worth it. I would not trade this bonding leave experience for anything.

It started early in the morning, I felt I had just gone back to sleep after the 3 AM feeding but I heard cries from my two sons. I look at the clock and it is 6 AM, Alegna has already left and Lucas is asking if it is morning yet. I yell no you need to go back to sleep and I place a pacifier in Matias's mouth to see if that will calm him down. None of it works and they are both demanding my instant attention at the same time. I think quickly and tell Lucas to go pee in the bathroom and then he can come back and watch some videos so I can handle Matias. I go prepare his bottle with the pressure of his full blown hunger melt down, he's yelling at the top of his lungs. I start feeding him but now Lucas is hungry too. I do some juggling with Matias and the bottle in one hand and free up my other hand to quickly get him a yogurt and a spoon. Lucas decides that his teddy bear wants to eat yogurt too, so he stuffs the bears face into the yogurt pot, I try to stop him but I'm still feeding Matias so I can't do much. All I do is scare him so now the yogurt is all over the floor, chair and Lucas. He starts crying. I calm him down but I still can't do much for him because Matias is still eating and getting upset whenever I try to do something else. I'm overwhelmed and it is only 6:30 in the morning. Serenity now!

I managed to get everyone ready and now we are about to leave for daycare. It's raining hard and not the kind of rain that is nice, this one just mixes with the high temperature and everything just feels very humid. I struggle to get the two kids in the car under the pouring rain and get Lucas to daycare. I also need to do some shopping so I decide it's best to just go straight to the supermarket. It is a struggle again to get out of the car with Matias and the rain but I get it done. I get home exhausted, luckily Matias has fallen asleep in the car. I finish storing the groceries and collapse in bed. Matias starts to cry, he wants to feed again. Serenity now!

The rest of the day is a haze of tiredness, I do get a few breaks which I use to watch a movie. Alegna gets home and I do what I promised I would never do. I dump the kids on her and ask her for about 30 minutes off. She looks at me with my battle wounds of spit-ups and baby poo and agrees. I go to the yard, that now looks like a jungle, and decide to mow the lawn for the first time in a couple of weeks. I put on some headphones and listen to the Talking Heads at full volume. It is relaxing and I am myself again. Same as it ever was.

I'm ok. This was the toughest day since I started the blog but I survived and I am stronger for it. Matias and Lucas bring it on! I can take it!

What did I watch?
Fort Apache: Another one of the poll losers. John Wayne and Henry Fonda are great, there is also a surprising appearance by an adult Shirley Temple. As every John Ford western the scenery is breathtaking, even if it is in black and white. It's good but I liked She Wore a Yellow Ribbon better.

The Wife

The alarm went off, I sat on the edge of the bed and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, took a deep breath and said to myself: you can do this! And so began the Summer of Armando and ended the Spring of Alegna.

Going back to work was different this time around. With Lucas I was able to stay home for 8 months. Back then I was a Per-Diem interpreter and our lives were different. Now, I have a full time position and was only able to take 12 weeks off.

I was ready to leave and went to Lucas’s room and kissed him. It is hard to put him to bed, I think he suffers from constant fear of missing out (FOMO), however, once he falls asleep nothing wakes him up so mom’s kisses probably become part of his sweet dreams. Matias, on the other hand, has a lighter sleep and I guess the scent of mom close to him tells him that it is time to wake. I tried to soothe him back to sleep, but I was not able and Armando had to wake up.

I must confess that I enjoyed going back to work, but it was hard nonetheless. I had more than 1000 emails to go through, a ceiling tile had fallen on my desk while I was gone and people were excited to see pictures of Matias. I think I called and texted Armando too many times. Is he up yet? Did he drink his bottle? How was Lucas’s morning routine? Did you put Matias in his crib for his nap? These were some of the questions running through my mind and that I asked every single time I called and texted.

In the morning I was able to talk to Lucas on the phone on his way to daycare. In perfect Spanish he asked me: Mamá why weren’t you at home this morning? I said sweetie because I had to go back to work and after a short pause he asked but why? Well my love, mommy has a job.

Trying to be the perfect mom and having a successful career are hard things to accomplish. With certain pride in my voice I informed people that my husband was staying home for 8 weeks. Of course a part of me wants him to fail so I can gloat that I am perfect.

However, Armando did a great job during his first week (more like 3 days but who is keeping tabs?). I came home to an empty dishwasher, clean bottles and rice.

So Far I give him a B+

About the Poll

I also voted for Equus. I did not enjoy the thought of having to watch a movie about a horse serial killer. However, at night I ended up watching the end of it. The movie was a bit weird and after reading the Wikipedia article I realized the title rang a bell because Daniel Radcliffe was in the play in London.

The Pony Remark

Honestly I wasn't sure I actually wanted to see Equus, I was rooting that the poll results would favor Fort Apache. But the people spoke and I listened, so soon after the polls closed at noon I started watching the movie. It wasn't what I described at all in "The Contest" post. This is not about a serial horse killer. It's funny that I think some of you even understood that it was about horse serial killers (which might have been hilarious, terrifying or both). It was actually about a very disturbed kid that because of many psychological complexes ends up blinding some horses in a stable he works at. The story is told in flashbacks through a conversation with a psychologist. It was pretty good, not a masterpiece or a movie I would watch again but I think it raised some interesting points.

Today it rained the whole day and it made my day very uneventful. Nothing interesting really happened. The highlight of my day was when Matias actually pooped. He had been in an unusual mood all day and as soon as he pooped he was the normal smiley Matias again. As a friend recently remarked, it is very interesting how someone else's bowel movements somehow become important when you are a parent.

So anyway, I wanted to get back to the movie because one of the characters, the kid's mom, actually clicked with me on how I feel about parenting and I think it might be relevant for this blog. She is a very unlikable character, very religious and strict, and I think the movie tries to persuade you that all of this situation might have been her fault. But she defends herself with a very interesting monologue where she says the following:

"... You come to us and say, who forbids television?  Who does what behind whose back? – as if we’re criminals.  /  Let me tell you something.  We’re not criminals.  We’ve done nothing wrong.  We loved Alan.  We gave him the best love we could.  /  All right, we quarrel sometimes – all parents quarrel – we always make it up.  /  My husband is a good man.  He’s an upright man, religion or no religion.  He cares for his home, for the world, and for his boy.  Alan had love and care and treats, and as much fun as any boy in the world.  /  I know about loveless homes:  I was a teacher.  Our home wasn’t loveless.  I know about privacy too – not invading a child’s privacy.  /  All right, Frank may be at fault there – he digs into him too much – but nothing in excess.  He’s not a bully. . . /  No, doctor.  Whatever’s happened has happened because of Alan.  Alan is himself.  Every soul is itself.  If you added up everything we ever did to him, from his first day on earth to this, you wouldn’t find why he did this terrible thing – because that’s him; not just all of our things added up.  /  Do you understand what I’m saying?  I want you to understand, because I lie awake and awake thinking it out, and I want you to know that I deny it absolutely what he’s doing now, staring at me, attacking me for what he’s done, for what he is! ...  "

As much as my parenting methods differ greatly from that woman I completely empathize with her. I think most of what we provide our children is in our genes and those genes determine most of what they are going to be like. I think we live in a culture that just places too much emphasis on parenting. There are thousands of books claiming to have the best method and just pressuring parents into doing things that might not come naturally to them and make them feel like failures. You see helicopter parents trying so hard it is painful, because they might fail through no fault of their own. They try to be the perfect parent that books or the internet or their friends or parents tell them to be. And if they fail they will blame themselves, society will blame them too. I think we shouldn't. Every person is their own person and the best you can do as a parent is just try to be the best person you can be and hope it rubs off on your kids. Lead by example. If someone turns out to be a criminal, a drug addict or a loser they should completely assume their own responsibility and stop blaming parents. They most certainly tried their best.

So that rant ends week number 1. I expect to publish my next post on Monday. But during the weekend Alegna will be a guest writer on the blog and give you her perspective on how I'm really doing.

See you next week!

The Good Samaritan

What a day! If every day is like today this is going to be a breeze. I got ambitious today, yesterday I trod cautiously into the unknown but today I went all in. The day started with a 3 AM feeding, these seem to be quick and easy, Matias is half asleep but he drinks his bottle pretty quickly. Then I'm able to get some sleep until 7:30 when both Matias and Lucas get up. Lucas's request for breakfast is more traditional today: toast with butter and jam, some cereal to snack on and a superman yogurt. I open the fridge and realize we are running out of groceries so I decide I'm going to risk it and go to the supermarket after dropping Lucas at daycare. I feed Matias while Lucas finishes his breakfast, we all get dressed and leave.

After dropping Lucas off I get to the Stop and Shop that is nearby. Here I run into my first challenge, where do I set Matias? He is too small for the shopping cart seat and there is no way I can push the cart and a stroller at the same time. I decide to set him in his car seat inside the shopping cart, there is not a lot of space for groceries now but I can work around it. I glance at the shopping list I requested from Alegna on my phone, memorize it and get to work. I get everything I need, pay up and go back to my parked car. I put all the groceries on the trunk and set Matias's car seat in the back. One of my biggest pet peeves in a supermarket parking lot is people not returning their carts on the designated areas. So I run to the area with my cart while Matias is locked in the car for about 30 seconds, but when I get back I see this woman walking by my car looking at the inside of it with a judgmental look. I get all paranoid thinking she's going to go full "Good Samaritan" on me and call the cops accusing me of locking my child in the heat while I was shopping. I quickly realize that I have a good alibi, the cashier saw me with Matias at the store and she commented on how cute he was, she surely must remember him and clarify I did nothing wrong. Luckily the woman keeps walking and gets on her car to leave. I leave too with some relief.

But now I'm brave. I successfully managed a trip to the supermarket! So what else do I do? After I feed Matias again I decide to be efficient with my time, so I cook some rice while I fill out the dishwasher. Another two chores done! I go eat while watching a movie for my deserved break. Finally, I get greedy and do some laundry. I go through two loads of washer and dryer. I'm so proud that I still have some time left with Matias for his daily exercises and tummy time.

Alegna and Lucas get here and now I can show off. My wife says "Big Deal!" you are just doing what you are supposed to be doing. Still I think this was a good day. I even had time to post twice for the first time!

What did I watch?
Il Sorpasso: Great movie! Vittorio Gassman plays one of the best comedy characters I have seen in my life, everything that came out of his mouth made me laugh out loud. This is one of the biggest representatives of a film movement in the 60s and 70s in Italy called commedia all'italiana. The ending is pretty tragic though.

Make sure you vote on the poll located to the right (Below Jerry Seinfeld's head) before tomorrow at noon. With this new feature you get to decide what movie I'm going to watch tomorrow afternoon.

The Venezuelan Day Parade

Today was the Venezuelan independence day. Every year they commemorate this day with the president watching over a military parade pretending that we have some sort of military might when in reality we probably are more similar to Seinfeld's version of the Puerto Rican day parade. I spent some time of the day fantasizing about some sort of Anwar Sadat episode that would free us from one of the worst presidents in our history but Matias quickly snapped me back to reality.

My day started at 2 AM this morning. I was afraid that on my first day I would not hear him cry as I sometimes do and Alegna would have to wake me up, but I heard him! So far, so good: pick him up, calm him down, prepare a bottle and feed him. BAM! Done in 30 minutes, back to sleep!

Alegna wakes up at 5 AM, gets ready for her first day of work in 3 months, so she obviously does what every loving mother would want to do every morning, she kisses Lucas and Matias goodbye. Lucas does not notice but Matias definitively does. She gives me an "it wasn't me" face and leaves. Now I'm stuck with a crying baby at 5:30 AM. After many iterations of feeding, burping and changing diapers he finally goes back to sleep at 7, Lucas's usual waking up time. I'm exhausted so I just collapse on my bed waiting for the dreaded "Daddy! Is it morning yet?" that comes every day like clockwork. But not today, today Lucas was a real pal and he gets up at 8. I yell from my room that yes it is morning and that he can get off his bed. He goes to the bathroom, pees, flushes and washes his hands all by himself like a champ and comes into my room. He asks for mom and starts to cry when he realizes she's back to work, but I bribe him with my phone and the offer of some youtube videos. I pass out again and wake up an hour later. He's still watching videos so I convince him to go have breakfast. Pancakes and popcorn is his request and I decide that it is not as unreasonable as usual so I abide and he devours it. Matias wakes up, he's happy so we all get dressed and we are off to daycare.

In the car Lucas asks why Matias is coming, I usually drive him by myself but today that is not an option. He is concerned: Matias is too little for school and they might hit him. I tell him that older brothers should defend their little brothers, he replies "Yes I will get really really mad if someone hits him!". Drop off at daycare is fine and I get home just in time for Matias's feeding. The rest of the day goes without a hitch, he eats his food, I get to watch some TV and walk around the neighborhood as I planned. There is no mess on the kitchen, everything is in the dishwasher and all the bottles he used are clean. I was supposed to buy some baby formula with some coupon from Target that Alegna left me but I don't think saving $5 off is worth risking my successful day so I stay home. I pass out on the sofa until Alegna and Lucas get here and I can officially say I survived my first day!

What did I watch?
Zabriskie Point a Michelangelo Antonioni film with terrible unlikable characters and an implausible story but that is surprisingly still watchable. It focuses on some one dimensional revolutionary counterculture hippies in their fight against a caricature of a greedy businesman. It does have one of the weirdest sex scenes I have ever seen though.

The Road to Hong Kong the last one of the Road to... series starring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, it is basically the same movie with the same types of gags as the other 6 (of which I have seen 4 already) but it works for light entertainment. I found the scene at the 7:36 mark of this video particularly funny.

So that's it! I survived my first day. One down, 60 more days to go. I think I'm going to be fine.

The Summer of Armando

My name is Armando, a Venezuelan living in Massachusetts and I work for a company that offers a few great benefits. One of them is what they call "bonding leave". The policy consists of giving a new parent eight weeks, fully paid, to spend with a new born or newly adopted child the first year of his/her life. So basically for a man it works as paternity leave and for a woman eight extra weeks added to the maternity leave. The US is not characterized by their great child bonding policies so it is probably close to the best you can get. In my opinion it is actually better than what my wife got. Even though she had to go through the whole child birth effort all she got was a fully paid week of vacation, four weeks of 75% pay and another 4 unpaid weeks. All I did was stand there next to her saying breathe a couple of times and I get fully paid 8 weeks??

So my wife, Alegna, is getting back to work tomorrow, after three months of great childcare, and leaving all the baby responsibilities for the next two months to me. These past three months since Matias was born I have been mostly a tourist. I helped with some diapers and bottles but most of the work was done by my wife. It has been tough on her and she has taken it like a champion. Now, it is my turn to keep my end of the bargain. Two months off work with the responsibility of all house chores, late night feedings, cooking and all that my wife has accomplished until now. I have been practicing the past couple of nights to get used to the schedule. It's going to be tough! But my plan is to make the most of it: the Summer of Armando!

My plan is to have short daily posts with some interesting details of what might have happened on that day. Is it going to be interesting? I have no idea. I'll try to mix it up a little, I'm a big movie buff with a DVR full of TCM movies that I expect to watch. I'll be taking walks around the neighborhood to see if I can catch some Pokémon in Pokémon GO. Go into the twitter black hole every once in a while trying to filter real news from fake news coming from the Venezuelan protests. But mostly, I'll try to survive doing something I have a little experience doing (I also have a 3 year old named Lucas) and try to enjoy it as much as I can.

Please feel free to comment on my posts to give me real feedback like: "This sucks!" or "You suck!" And if you are really curious you can even sign up to receive email notifications whenever I post something new by adding your email on the right where it says "Follow By Email".

Well that's it for today, wish me luck, for tomorrow begins the Summer of Armando!