The Finale

I made it. I took care of a human being for 9 whole weeks: From the 4th of July until Labor Day. Here I am 62 days and 49 posts after writing my first one and I feel many things. First, I feel a big sense of accomplishment. I must admit I was scared, I was heading into the unknown and completely out of my comfort zone. I also added an extra challenge which was writing this blog. I do think that, in the end, it really helped me to stay motivated and focused. Every time something bad or tough would happen I would think "at least this will make a good story for the blog" and that somehow put things in perspective.

Second, I feel grateful for having had this opportunity. I am grateful for having a job that provided this benefit that many people do not have. I am grateful to my friends, family and maybe some complete strangers that came in day after day curious about what happened next in this eventful summer. But, mostly I am grateful to my wife Alegna for her unconditional support and behind the scenes work that made things easier. To Lucas for making the summer interesting with his many occurrences and adorable naughtiness. And to the great Matias, the big smiley baby that was born to be the only person with the patience and good nature to forgive all of my many hiccups as a parent. Without his personality and good behavior I would not have been able to enjoy this summer as much as I have.

Finally, I feel a little uncertainty about what the future holds. Tomorrow, we will start a new routine. Matias is starting daycare, I am going back to work. So many questions come into my mind: Will I ever get to work on time? Can I actually afford daycare for two kids? How tired are we both going to be when we get home from work? But, here is one of the advantages that I think us immigrants have. We have been through so much uncertainty and sometimes so far out of our comfort zone that we kind of lose the fear of the new. I am certain that we are going to be fine. It is going to take some time to get used to it, but we'll be fine.

This has been by far the post I have struggled the most to write. I had promised it for Friday and I had not been late on any of the other posts. The excuse I kept giving myself was that I wasn't home. I was out of town, but I had written posts every day when I was in Florida. Is it something deeper? Is it fear that once I hit publish this part of my life will be over forever? As I said on my previous post, this has been the best summer of my life, but on the other hand, I can't wait to get back to work and gain some structure. I will be having predictable days again, days that will not depend or completely change because of a wailing sound. I'm sure I'm going to miss it a lot though.

So goodbye! This is really the final post. I have been asked to do weekly or monthly updates but I know that it is never going to happen. Part of the reason I was able to post daily was because it required discipline to sit down every day and write something. If I had done it weekly, I would have abandoned this blog a long time ago. I would have kept saying, yeah tomorrow I'll write my post, and that tomorrow would have never come.

Thank you again to all the readers. Seeing those site visit numbers go up every time I wrote a new post kept me going. You don't know how much it meant to me. And to future Lucas and Matias, I hope that someday when you are older you get to enjoy reading some or all of these posts. If you are reading this and you are anywhere near me, please go give me a hug and a kiss. That is all I will ever ask of you, the rest: all of your triumphs and failures belong to you. I will never dare to take credit for any of them. I love you.

The Soul Mate

When I had Lucas I was all by myself with a 3 week old baby. My mom came for 3 weeks, my in-laws for 2 weeks and Armando took some vacation time. Back then he did not have a paternity leave or a bonding leave.

I had a per-diem position so I took 8 months off from work to be with Lucas. I enjoyed every one of those months and cried (a lot) when it was time for me to go back to work and send him to daycare. With Matias, things are different. I now have a full-time position and could only be on leave for 3 months, however, he got to experience something Lucas did not: spend 2 months with Armando.

I feel that when you have kids your life goes by in fast forward mode. One day I was in the hospital giving birth, then I had to go back to work and leave Armando in charge and now I find myself preparing everything to send Matias to daycare and holding back my tears. 

Armando has done an excellent job these 2 last months. He kept his end of the deal: 2 months of no cooking, giving bottles, changing diapers, mid-night waking up to feed, loading and unloading the dishwasher. He has taken great care of Matias and even knows (and this makes me a bit jealous) how to put him to sleep without so much crying better than me.

Without a doubt Armando is an excellent dad to both Lucas and Matias. He was even brave enough to get on a plane with both of them! 

Now we are getting ready for a new routine, one in which both of us are going to be working and will have to organize our time to the last minute. However, we are not afraid of changes. We came to this country 7 years ago with our lives packed in 2 suitcases (like most Venezuelans) and have accomplished a great deal of things. 

Life with two kids is hard, but we are in this together. Right compañero?

The Face Painter

Matias had a rough night, he kept tossing and turning and making noises that would wake us up and make us check on him. Finally at around 4 AM, after I had been trying to get him to sleep for about an hour, Alegna took him and placed him on the bed next to her. He was finally asleep. I got to sleep for about 3 hours until I could hear Lucas calling me from him bed. Dad I have to pee! I tell him sure go ahead and since it is more than 7 AM he gets to watch some videos.

Yesterday we got to the daycare really late and Lucas's classroom was already playing outside when we got there. For some reason Lucas did not like that and he was insisting that today his friends needed to be inside when he got there. So we rushed through our morning routine so he could get there early. In our rush I forgot his lunch box and only when I parked my car in the daycare did I realize it. So I left him in his classroom, no crying this time, and I promised him that I would be back with his lunchbox. I drove home and then went back with the lunch box. I found him building some Legos on a table and when he saw me he was very excited. He ran towards me and I think I got the best hug he has ever given me. He was happy to see me and thanked me for his lunchbox.

After this I went to the supermarket with Matias. I realized I was pushing it time wise with his next meal but there was no bread or cheese at home. Those are the only two items that must never run out. I quickly go through all the groceries we need and by the time we are paying I can already see Matias starting to get restless. I rush home and feed him. He falls asleep so I prepare my lunch and then anxiously await for the event of the day. The UEFA Champions League playoff game between Nice and my favorite team Napoli.

 It is a very important game because the winner qualifies to the Champions League and gets a paycheck of about $40 million. The game was great, Napoli played beautifully and won 2-0. Matias was paying attention to the whole game. He was sitting in his swing smiling and staring at the TV. I guess he really liked the colors. He laughed when I celebrated the goals. This is a great start to a season that for the first time in a while has Napoli as a serious contender for the league title. Not since the Maradona days in the late 1980s did Napoli look this good. I hope they spend those $40 million wisely and plug the missing ingredients that can get us to that next level. Forza Napoli! 

What did I watch?
My favorite team qualify to the Champions League!

The Airport

I survived. It was tough travelling with a 3 year old and a 4 month old alone on an airplane, but I made it. The day started early, I wanted to make sure I had everything prepared. My mother helped me figure out everything I would need. I had diapers, baby wipes, three bottles and enough water and formula to fill them up. I went to the airport with both my parents. They were sad to see their grandchildren go. Their house would be quiet again. I had checked in at home and already had our boarding passes but I still had to drop my bag and Lucas's car seat. The line was longer than I expected and it took a while to drop them.

We walked to security. It had a long line too. We said our goodbyes to my parents. My mom helped me strap the baby carrier to my chest and we set up Matias there. I held Lucas's hand and off we went. I was expecting the TSA agent to have pity on my helplessness and send me on some sort of priority line but she did not. I had to go through the long line. I looked at the clock and my plane will start boarding in 30 minutes. There's no way I'm going to make it in time with that line. Fortunately my mother was already talking to another agent and they came to pick me up and send me through the pre-check line. I empty my pockets and place my laptop on a bin but when I knelt to take off my shoes I bumped the bin into Matias's head. This was the first of three bumps he would receive that day.

It takes a really long time to go through security. I am carrying Matias so they have to make extra screenings on me. Also, they need to check the water on the baby bottles. I can hear the speakers announcing that my plane would start boarding. I say this to the agent, but it makes no difference on how patiently he is doing his job. Lucas understands what I just said and starts to freak out saying that the plane is going to leave us. We are finally done and I walk fast with Lucas on one arm. I calm him down telling him we are going to make it and we do.

We sit down on our seats. Lucas is excited and I'm already exhausted. As I calculated Matias starts to get hungry right before take-off. Perfect timing, he will be sucking and the pressure will not bug him on his ears. I start to make his bottle and kneel down to get the formula. Bump number 2 against the arm rest. He cries a little but calms down while he feeds. Lucas is restless and wants to start watching TV on the plane entertainment system. I explain that it will start working when we take off. We take off, but the system is not working. My whole trip depends on Lucas being entertained with cartoons and the system is not starting. They announce that they are having some issues with it and it will start in about 20 minutes. Lucas asked me every second of those 20 minutes when the TV would come on. It is finally on and Matias is asleep. I can finally relax for a few minutes.

Matias wakes up after a while and I can smell some bad news. I had no idea what I was going to do if I had to go change Matias's diaper and now it just happened. I turn around and tell Lucas that I have to go change Matias's diaper, I ask him if he wants to come with me or if he's ok watching TV by himself for a bit. He tells me he'll stay so I trust him. I get up and bump Matias's head against the ceiling, poor baby, it must be hard to have such a clumsy father. I rush to the bathroom, I'm afraid Lucas might change his mind and start asking for me while I'm at the restroom. I get in and it is tight. I quickly realize I forgot the change pad. So I improvise and cover the table with paper towels. I change his diaper as fast as I can and get back to my seat. Lucas was relaxed as if I had never left. I thought the worst was probably over.

The rest of the flight was ok except when Matias pooped again. I had to go through the whole process one more time but this time without bumping his head or forgetting the change pad. We land and stay on the plane until everyone is off. We are the last to leave the plane and Alegna is waiting for us. I'm so glad to see her. All my energy was drained, I think it was just the tension of being in constant alertness. I just wanted to pass out on a bed until the next day. But Alegna has a bachelorette party she needs to go to. I have to take care of them for a few more hours. At about 8 PM I came the closest I have been since I started this blog to give up. I called Alegna in despair but she could not hear her phone. I had to do this by myself. BY 9 PM when I got her call back I had finally put them both to sleep. She found me passed out on the couch a couple of hours later.

Today was Lucas first day at daycare in 2 weeks. I knew the drop off would be hard. But it was harder than I predicted. He started crying as soon as we walked in. We had come in late so his classroom was already playing outside. I took him to the playground and he was losing it. He was still crying when I left and was waiting for me hugging the fence crying with a very sad face. I talked to him through the fence to try to calm him down. When I said I was finally going to leave he just laid down on the floor in resignation. It broke my heart. The teacher told me that as soon as I left he started playing with the other kids. I hope tomorrow is better.

What did I watch?
Strange Brew: I finally have my DVR back and saw this 80s comedy that has not aged very well. By the end of the movie I did want to call everyone a Hoser, Eh!