The Opposite

Yesterday was a bittersweet day. I had one of the best experiences I have ever had with Lucas by attending his first soccer game, but at the same time 14 or more of my fellow countrymen were dying protesting against a criminal regime. This is the guilt us Venezuelans living abroad have to live with every day. It doesn't matter how great things are going in your life, there is always that hollow feeling inside reminding you that you will never be truly happy until your country is free. I named this post the opposite because that is how my relationship to Venezuela feels sometimes, the better things get for me in my life, the worse they get in my country. Today is a difficult day, I been questioning if things are ever going to get better, can the bad guys really win? All I can really do from here is hope that things get better, and that just makes me feel powerless.

In Venezuela the bad guys have the guns, the money and the power but we must not let them take our hopes and dreams. So I will focus the rest of my post on the positive. Lucas's first ever soccer game at a stadium was a success. It was Roma Vs. Juventus at the Gilette Stadium at Foxborough. We had great seats and we were able to see great players up close like Buffon, Chiellini, De Rossi, Nainngolan and almost every star of each of the two teams. Unfortunately, the only Venezuelan playing for Juventus, Tomas Rincon, captain of our national team, did not play. We did get close enough for him to say hi as you can see in the above picture.

Lucas was great during the whole game. That is 90 minutes of soccer that he was able to watch without getting bored, a great demonstration of his attention span.  His uncle did get him a huge bowl of popcorn and some Gatorade that kept him entertained for a while. Juventus scored first and he was really disappointed. But when Roma scored he had the experience of celebrating a goal at a stadium, he was happy and wanted more. During half time after drinking all of his Gatorade bottle I knew I had to take him to the bathroom. He freaked out with the crowd and the sound of all the toilets and urinals flushing at the same time and he refused to pee on any of them. I had to think fast, I knew he really had to go, so I picked my water bottle and had him pee there on a corner of the restroom. I threw the bottle on the trash and the problem was solved. In the end when I asked him what he enjoyed the most of the whole game experience his answer was "Peeing in a bottle".

Today was a normal day, a lot of smiles and easy feedings from Matias. He gave me time to reflect on what's next for Venezuela and to try to keep it positive. It's hard not to be positive with his smiley face staring at you.

What did I watch?
Crossfire: I have always been a fan of stories that use the unreliable narrator technique to tell the same story from different points of view. This movie does it really well as well as tackling some pretty advanced discrimination topics for the era in which it was made. Perhaps it is not surprising that the producer and director where eventually blacklisted for their political beliefs.

The Revenge

Nothing much happened today, it was a good day, pretty uneventful, the highlight was that we went for some ice cream after picking Lucas up from daycare. But I had time to think about this blog and how maybe years from now Lucas and Matias, when they are older, can read how their life was like at an age that they probably won't remember at all. That is what motivated me to cheat a little and not write about something that happened today, but something that actually happened a couple of days before I started to write this blog. I wanted to write this so future Lucas and Matias can read it.

I'm going to write about the first and only time until now that Lucas was bullied and how proud his reaction made me. As every kid his age, he has been pushed, hit, bit, etc. by other kids at daycare and I have thought nothing of it. It's usually just kids being kids. But this time it was something different, it wasn't innocent kid-play. We were at a 4th of July BBQ at a friend's house, it was really crowded and we really did not know most of the people there. Lucas and Matias were the only children at the party until a couple older kids arrived. They must have been around 5, and for some reason one of them (The ringleader) took an instant dislike towards Lucas. Lucas, being the great and noble kid I know him to be, got excited that other kids he could play with were there and tried to engage with them.

At first when he tried to play with them, they started saying go away we do not want to play with you "poopy baby" and they would run away. Lucas would take this as an invitation to play and would run after them laughing. I saw Alegna getting concerned but I downplayed it saying it's just kid stuff, they don't want to play with a smaller child and Lucas does not know any better and is having fun anyway, let's let them be. But then they started to get violent, they hid and ambushed him by throwing some cornhole bean bags that hit him on the chest and made him fall down. Lucas started to cry and came to me asking me why had they done that to him. I was kind of pissed but I just calmly told him that they didn't want to play with him, maybe he should find something else to do.

So now Lucas is playing in the yard by himself and they approach him again. This time they are trying to punch him and kick him. The good thing is that Lucas did not cower, he was trying to defend himself as best as he could against these two bigger kids. He firmly stood his ground and yelled "No Thank You!" and "I Need Some Space!" like they have taught him at daycare. He was doing all the right things, being non-violent but standing his ground. I went to get him before the kids could react and hurt him. Then we started to talk and he asked me why were those kids so mean. I just told him that some kids were just like that and that sometimes it was just better not to play with them. But, then my anger got the best of me and I added, but next time that a kid that is bigger than you tries to hurt you, kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. This got him all excited, now he felt that he was a superhero that had to kick the villains in the nuts. Alegna gave me a face and I had to calm him down. You will only do this if they are bigger and they are coming to hurt you, don't go and fight them.

I tried to keep an eye on him for the rest of the party but I got distracted for a moment and it finally happened. I saw them from far away approaching him, Lucas did not run, he did some sort of Karate stance and actually tried to kick them, but they were stronger and between the two pushed him to the ground. Lucas was crying when I got to him. I was angry and proud but it all suddenly turned to embarrassment when he said in full volume "Dad, I tried to kick them in the nuts like you told me to, but I couldn't!" I said that's OK and took him away.  That was the end of the party for us, we better just leave and never see these kids again.

This experience calmed me down a lot. I think we are teaching him the right things like being confident and kind which are better weapons against bullying than kicks to the nuts. He got beat up this time. I think it is an experience we all need to have sometime to know that it is not the end of the world. You must know pain so you are not scared of it. I think he'll be ready next time.

What did I watch?
Chimes at Midnight: All Shakespeare movies are kind of the same, they usually stick very closely to the material and the language and you can't really fail with that recipe, but then why are you even trying to redo the exact same thing again and again? I do feel that I should praise the battle scenes in this movie, they were raw and violent at a time when movies shied away from that kind of violence, but the violence is not glorified like in current movies, it is shown as absurd and unnecessary.

The Leopard Man: This was the third movie of the Tourneur-Guest partnership that kind of invented the low budget horror movie genre. It is almost a rehash of the much better Cat People.

The Maestro

I come from an Italian family, so to us soccer is like a religion. I am a Napoli fan, the biggest team in the area from where my family comes from. Napoli was big in the 80s, when Maradona was playing for them and was decent for about half of the 90s. I am old enough to remember some of this so I became a Napoli fan. In the late 90s and early 2000s Napoli was bad and playing on the 2nd and 3rd tiers so my brothers did not have a chance to follow them. Instead they are Roma fans.  Because of this now there is this big friendly rivalry whenever we are together Roma Vs. Napoli. Part of it is trying to get Lucas to root for one of the two. My brothers have gotten him Roma gear, but until now my influence has prevailed and he confidently states that Napoli is the best team. When he plays soccer he will tell me that he is Hamsik or Insigne (Napoli players).

However, this Sunday there is a game in Boston, Juventus Vs. Roma. It is going to be Lucas's first experience on a soccer stadium so I have been building it up for a couple of weeks. I want him to be excited and for it to be special. I found out that Roma would be training today in Harvard, so I had Lucas skip daycare, dressed him and Matias from head to toes in Roma gear and went there.

The day was cloudy and it looked like it was going to rain, but luckily it never did. We were at Ohiri Field at about 10 AM and I was amazed of how little the crowd was. It had to be about 10 people tops. The players just walked in from the hotel, no bus, no crowds. They must love the anonymity the US gives them. The players started walking in and I kept whispering the names in Lucas's ears. He would shout De Rossi! Florenzi! Perotti! and they would all wave. De Rossi actually came to him and gave him a high five. Lucas was beaming with happiness and so was I. I kept telling him to yell for Nainggolan but he must have gotten scared with his haircut.

In the end he was asking where is Totti? I had to explain that he was no longer playing for Roma. "Il Capitano" retired. Then an interesting conversation started: Why did he retire? Because he is getting older and the older you get the slower and weaker you get. But I am growing stronger, when I'm 4, I'm going to be very strong. Yes, Lucas but once you turn 30, it all goes downhill and he was 40. Now my son is scared of growing old and he's only 3. Meanwhile Matias was just hanging out in his stroller, smiling as always, no complaints about spending a couple of hours outside under an overcast sky.

What did I watch?
A lot of Pokemon again, that's what I get for making my kid skip school.

UPDATE: They took our picture and posted it to Instagram

The Visa

This year both Alegna and I were eligible to become US citizens. We filled out all our forms together, got our fingerprints taken and went through the interviews at the same time. But, for some strange reason, we received our invitation to take the oath of allegiance on different days. Today Alegna became an American citizen while I have to wait until probably September.

We woke up this morning and debated on whether Lucas should attend the ceremony or not. Luckily we decided against it and dropped him off at daycare on our way to Worcester, where today's ceremony was scheduled to happen. We got there at 10:30 AM and Alegna went through all the process while I was sitting in the guest section with Matias. It was a long ceremony that consisted of mostly waiting for everyone to come into the room. Lucas would have lost it. It finally started at 12 and it lasted about an hour. During this whole time I was sitting with Matias on a very crowded theater with not much wiggle room, but he was great as always. He didn't cry once. He kind of complained a little bit when it was time to eat, but once I fed him his bottle he was OK again.

The ceremony was very nice. They did their oath, then recited the pledge of allegiance and listened to the national anthem. There were some nice moments like when they started calling country names and anyone originally born there would stand up. It was a very festive environment designed to make the new citizens feel welcome. The oath of allegiance is interesting in that you are renouncing allegiance to your own country. I think it is kind of a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand you are becoming a citizen of the most important country in the world, in my opinion as significant as being a citizen of Rome during the Roman Empire. But on the other hand you are renouncing the country that made you who you are. These bittersweet taste quickly went away with some very wise and moving words from the judge presiding the ceremony. "You are renouncing allegiance to you government, not to your country or culture". That's when it hit me, I have already renounced to the Venezuelan government, probably about 17 years ago, renouncing to my "Venezuelaness" is probably impossible because it is part of who I am. I am always going to enjoy an Arepa and celebrate goals by the Vinotinto. But, I'm sure going to be proud to also become an American. The country where both my sons were born, where I had the opportunity to get a job, buy a house and live in peace. I most certainly will enjoy my rights to live, be free and be happy.

What did I Watch?
Kong: Skull Island: The best word I could come up to describe this movie is "Blah". Apparently they are setting up this whole "Monsterverse" where they will have Kong fighting Godzilla, Mothra, etc. in future movies.

The Da Vinci Sleep

The closest you will unintentionally get to polyphasic sleep is when you have to feed a baby and in my opinion it will convince you that it does not really work. The hardest part of taking care of a baby is dealing with the sleep deprivation. Easy tasks like changing a diaper or preparing a bottle suddenly become super complicated. I have been very lucky with Matias. He is a very good sleeper that on his worst nights he might wake only twice. Last night for the first time in his life he slept through the whole night.

I fed him yesterday at 11 PM and put him to sleep. After that I spent some time writing yesterday's post and then loading the dishwasher and went to sleep too about an hour later. I vaguely remember hearing him complain at what I think was 3 or 4 AM, I reached for his pacifier and found his mouth to try to calm him down so I could get a few more minutes of sleep. Next thing I know it is 7 AM and he is still sleeping. I freak out a little bit and confirm that yes he is still breathing. At 7:30 I decide to wake him up, it has been 8 hours since he last ate. He wakes up happy and then proceeds to eat all day like a troglodyte. He cluster fed all day today 6 ounces every 3 hours, that is a lot for a 3 month old, but it gives me hope that he is just catching up and preparing for another full night of sleep.

The rest of the day was uneventful, I did the grocery shopping and laundry work that I had decide not to do yesterday. And in the evening we all went for a pizza dinner to celebrate Matias's first of many full night sleeps.

What did I Watch?
A Guy Named Joe: It's supposed to be Steven Spielberg's favorite movie, so much that he actually remade it. Unfortunately, it was too corny for my taste. It happens a lot watching some of these old movies, some do not age well because they look too innocent for us that have grown accustomed to a more cynical world.

The Couch

Today was a rainy day. The kind of rainy day that makes you not want to do anything at all. We woke up early but I was in no rush. I saw through my window all that heavy rain and decided to wait until it got a little better so the trip to the daycare wouldn't be that bad. I let Lucas play with his toys after breakfast and joined him for a while while Matias was napping. At around 9:30 I saw the rain getting a little lighter so I got the kids dressed and left for daycare. My plan for today was to go to the grocery store, but the weather is not really motivating me so I decide to go home.

Alegna calls me, she has been getting sicker over the weekend and now she is in bad shape. She's coming back early from work. Matias and I have done absolutely nothing today but sit on the couch. It's been a lazy rainy day and we are taking full advantage of it. I believe he is starting to teeth because he keeps sucking at his hands and his pacifier. He has also been a little restless and wants to be on my arms more than usual. But when I'm holding him he is all smiles. It has been a very unproductive day but we have taken complete advantage of it to make it a good day, just the two of us hanging out on the couch

Tomorrow I will have to pick up everything I left undone on this off-day. I need to do some laundry and go to the supermarket. Let's hope the weather is more motivating than today's.

What did I watch?
The Revenge of Frankenstein: I think I like the Universal monster movies more than the Hammer ones, but this one was a completely new take on the Frankenstein story, starting with that there is no Frankenstein monster in it. From my experience Universal had great monster movies like Dracula, Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, but the sequels kept getting worse until something as bad as House of Frankenstein came out. The Hammer movies are a little bit more consistent, they are all of equal quality, but none are really great.

The Paradine Case: It is a Hitchcock movie, you realize this in the first few minutes, even before his cameo. It's not one of his best though, but I can see why he was attracted to this story. I was more interested in the story arc of the lawyer ruining his career and marriage on account of his infatuation with his client rather than with the trial and discovering who was the murderer.

The Wait Out

Matias behaves all day like an angel. He will get hungry when it is expected and maybe cry a little but I am usually prepared with a bottle and as soon as he starts eating he will calm down. If he is sleepy he will usually just go to sleep. .He does not suffer from colic and burping him is a walk on the park. Except at 7 PM in the evening. Alegna calls it "Aleli" time, I have seen it mentioned online as "The Witching Hour" but I like to call it the "Wait Out". He has been waiting patiently all day to spend some time with mommy and now he is demanding her attention.

It is very surprising that it comes like clockwork, every day around 7 PM. It does not matter if he just woke up, if he just ate or anything that has happened the rest of the day. This is the only time when he seems to be inconsolable but I think I am getting to the bottom of it. I have noticed that the cry is very similar to his cry when he is hungry. At first, I was incredulous because at 7 he has usually just eaten so he shouldn't be hungry. But by reading online I have found out that there are some babies that cluster feed in the evenings so they can sleep through the night. Thinking about it, it fits his pattern of behavior. He has been getting better and better in sleeping longer hours at night. So the past couple of nights we have tried just feeding him a bottle when he gets this way and it seems to be working. Hopefully this will lead to even better nights, who knows if soon I will be sleeping the whole night for a change?

What did I see?
Take Me Out to the Ball Game: Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra and Esther Williams in a Busby Berkeley musical about baseball. I am a big baseball fan and I had really enjoyed On the Town with Sinatra and Kelly. But this one was kind of disappointing, nothing really memorable about it.

A Touch of Zen: The winner of this week's poll and it was a gem. Although it was 3 and a half hours it did not feel that long. You can see how this movie influenced the newer artistic martial arts movies like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero. The monk character is really cool, he is so bad-ass that he bleeds gold. It has one of the best endings I have seen on any movie. Beautiful movie!