The Airport

I survived. It was tough travelling with a 3 year old and a 4 month old alone on an airplane, but I made it. The day started early, I wanted to make sure I had everything prepared. My mother helped me figure out everything I would need. I had diapers, baby wipes, three bottles and enough water and formula to fill them up. I went to the airport with both my parents. They were sad to see their grandchildren go. Their house would be quiet again. I had checked in at home and already had our boarding passes but I still had to drop my bag and Lucas's car seat. The line was longer than I expected and it took a while to drop them.

We walked to security. It had a long line too. We said our goodbyes to my parents. My mom helped me strap the baby carrier to my chest and we set up Matias there. I held Lucas's hand and off we went. I was expecting the TSA agent to have pity on my helplessness and send me on some sort of priority line but she did not. I had to go through the long line. I looked at the clock and my plane will start boarding in 30 minutes. There's no way I'm going to make it in time with that line. Fortunately my mother was already talking to another agent and they came to pick me up and send me through the pre-check line. I empty my pockets and place my laptop on a bin but when I knelt to take off my shoes I bumped the bin into Matias's head. This was the first of three bumps he would receive that day.

It takes a really long time to go through security. I am carrying Matias so they have to make extra screenings on me. Also, they need to check the water on the baby bottles. I can hear the speakers announcing that my plane would start boarding. I say this to the agent, but it makes no difference on how patiently he is doing his job. Lucas understands what I just said and starts to freak out saying that the plane is going to leave us. We are finally done and I walk fast with Lucas on one arm. I calm him down telling him we are going to make it and we do.

We sit down on our seats. Lucas is excited and I'm already exhausted. As I calculated Matias starts to get hungry right before take-off. Perfect timing, he will be sucking and the pressure will not bug him on his ears. I start to make his bottle and kneel down to get the formula. Bump number 2 against the arm rest. He cries a little but calms down while he feeds. Lucas is restless and wants to start watching TV on the plane entertainment system. I explain that it will start working when we take off. We take off, but the system is not working. My whole trip depends on Lucas being entertained with cartoons and the system is not starting. They announce that they are having some issues with it and it will start in about 20 minutes. Lucas asked me every second of those 20 minutes when the TV would come on. It is finally on and Matias is asleep. I can finally relax for a few minutes.

Matias wakes up after a while and I can smell some bad news. I had no idea what I was going to do if I had to go change Matias's diaper and now it just happened. I turn around and tell Lucas that I have to go change Matias's diaper, I ask him if he wants to come with me or if he's ok watching TV by himself for a bit. He tells me he'll stay so I trust him. I get up and bump Matias's head against the ceiling, poor baby, it must be hard to have such a clumsy father. I rush to the bathroom, I'm afraid Lucas might change his mind and start asking for me while I'm at the restroom. I get in and it is tight. I quickly realize I forgot the change pad. So I improvise and cover the table with paper towels. I change his diaper as fast as I can and get back to my seat. Lucas was relaxed as if I had never left. I thought the worst was probably over.

The rest of the flight was ok except when Matias pooped again. I had to go through the whole process one more time but this time without bumping his head or forgetting the change pad. We land and stay on the plane until everyone is off. We are the last to leave the plane and Alegna is waiting for us. I'm so glad to see her. All my energy was drained, I think it was just the tension of being in constant alertness. I just wanted to pass out on a bed until the next day. But Alegna has a bachelorette party she needs to go to. I have to take care of them for a few more hours. At about 8 PM I came the closest I have been since I started this blog to give up. I called Alegna in despair but she could not hear her phone. I had to do this by myself. BY 9 PM when I got her call back I had finally put them both to sleep. She found me passed out on the couch a couple of hours later.

Today was Lucas first day at daycare in 2 weeks. I knew the drop off would be hard. But it was harder than I predicted. He started crying as soon as we walked in. We had come in late so his classroom was already playing outside. I took him to the playground and he was losing it. He was still crying when I left and was waiting for me hugging the fence crying with a very sad face. I talked to him through the fence to try to calm him down. When I said I was finally going to leave he just laid down on the floor in resignation. It broke my heart. The teacher told me that as soon as I left he started playing with the other kids. I hope tomorrow is better.

What did I watch?
Strange Brew: I finally have my DVR back and saw this 80s comedy that has not aged very well. By the end of the movie I did want to call everyone a Hoser, Eh!

The Chinese Restaurant

The post I have gotten most positive feedback from was the one where things did not actually work out for me (The Serenity Now). So fate decided to give people what they wanted. I'm going to be honest this one physically hurt.

I had been hanging in the house for the last couple of days, just leaving to take Lucas to daycare, so to avoid getting a bad case of cabin fever we decided to go walk on the mall for a while. We had fun watching some Legos at the Lego Store and we spent some time on the playground. When it was time for dinner all restaurants were crowded and we did not want to wait so we walked to the food court. I walked past a stand where they were selling Philly Cheesesteaks and they give me a sample to try, it was pretty good so I decide that is what I'm eating. But why is the post called "The Chinese Restaurant"? Well if you haven't noticed yet all of the titles of my posts are also Seinfeld episode titles so I don't have much room to choose. But, most importantly, all of the employees on the "Philly Cheesesteak" stand where Chinese. I devour my sandwich and it was delicious, but when I got home something was feeling weird already.

My night was terrible with constant running to the bathroom with food poisoning symptoms. I was able to feed Matias at about 2 AM, but could not get any sleep after that. I saw Alegna leave at 5:30 and I was tempted to ask her to stay, but I decided to be strong and take it like a man. Matias woke up a little later and then Lucas and I was suddenly looking at a long day of work. I fed Matias before serving Lucas breakfast (I learned my lesson) and put him down to sleep. Lucas wants some cereal so I serve a bowl, but nature calls once again and I decide to trust him with his breakfast. Big mistake, I came back to what he called a "Cereal Tower", meaning all the cereal that was on the box was now on his bowl. I give him points for creativity.

I go to the daycare and as soon as I get there I realize I completely forgot Lucas's lunchbox. I have to negotiate with the teacher so they can figure out some lunch for him. I don't want to be away from my toilet longer than I have to so coming back with his lunchbox is out of the question. I get home and after the third trip to the bathroom I give up. I call Alegna and ask her to come home. I'm throwing the towel.

I still have not eaten anything but a bowl of rice at about noon and half a bottle of Gatorade. At least I'm not running to the bathroom anymore, but I still feel some pain in my stomach. I hope I'm better for tomorrow.

What did I watch?
Absolutely nothing!

Please remember to vote on the poll. There is a four way tie at the moment.

The Pony Remark

Honestly I wasn't sure I actually wanted to see Equus, I was rooting that the poll results would favor Fort Apache. But the people spoke and I listened, so soon after the polls closed at noon I started watching the movie. It wasn't what I described at all in "The Contest" post. This is not about a serial horse killer. It's funny that I think some of you even understood that it was about horse serial killers (which might have been hilarious, terrifying or both). It was actually about a very disturbed kid that because of many psychological complexes ends up blinding some horses in a stable he works at. The story is told in flashbacks through a conversation with a psychologist. It was pretty good, not a masterpiece or a movie I would watch again but I think it raised some interesting points.

Today it rained the whole day and it made my day very uneventful. Nothing interesting really happened. The highlight of my day was when Matias actually pooped. He had been in an unusual mood all day and as soon as he pooped he was the normal smiley Matias again. As a friend recently remarked, it is very interesting how someone else's bowel movements somehow become important when you are a parent.

So anyway, I wanted to get back to the movie because one of the characters, the kid's mom, actually clicked with me on how I feel about parenting and I think it might be relevant for this blog. She is a very unlikable character, very religious and strict, and I think the movie tries to persuade you that all of this situation might have been her fault. But she defends herself with a very interesting monologue where she says the following:

"... You come to us and say, who forbids television?  Who does what behind whose back? – as if we’re criminals.  /  Let me tell you something.  We’re not criminals.  We’ve done nothing wrong.  We loved Alan.  We gave him the best love we could.  /  All right, we quarrel sometimes – all parents quarrel – we always make it up.  /  My husband is a good man.  He’s an upright man, religion or no religion.  He cares for his home, for the world, and for his boy.  Alan had love and care and treats, and as much fun as any boy in the world.  /  I know about loveless homes:  I was a teacher.  Our home wasn’t loveless.  I know about privacy too – not invading a child’s privacy.  /  All right, Frank may be at fault there – he digs into him too much – but nothing in excess.  He’s not a bully. . . /  No, doctor.  Whatever’s happened has happened because of Alan.  Alan is himself.  Every soul is itself.  If you added up everything we ever did to him, from his first day on earth to this, you wouldn’t find why he did this terrible thing – because that’s him; not just all of our things added up.  /  Do you understand what I’m saying?  I want you to understand, because I lie awake and awake thinking it out, and I want you to know that I deny it absolutely what he’s doing now, staring at me, attacking me for what he’s done, for what he is! ...  "

As much as my parenting methods differ greatly from that woman I completely empathize with her. I think most of what we provide our children is in our genes and those genes determine most of what they are going to be like. I think we live in a culture that just places too much emphasis on parenting. There are thousands of books claiming to have the best method and just pressuring parents into doing things that might not come naturally to them and make them feel like failures. You see helicopter parents trying so hard it is painful, because they might fail through no fault of their own. They try to be the perfect parent that books or the internet or their friends or parents tell them to be. And if they fail they will blame themselves, society will blame them too. I think we shouldn't. Every person is their own person and the best you can do as a parent is just try to be the best person you can be and hope it rubs off on your kids. Lead by example. If someone turns out to be a criminal, a drug addict or a loser they should completely assume their own responsibility and stop blaming parents. They most certainly tried their best.

So that rant ends week number 1. I expect to publish my next post on Monday. But during the weekend Alegna will be a guest writer on the blog and give you her perspective on how I'm really doing.

See you next week!